The Armegeddon Report If newsrooms prepared stories about an impending Armageddon (instead of stocking up on AA batteries and running for the hills) here's what the headlines might say:


USA Today: We're dead

The Wall Street Journal: Dow plummets as world ends

National Enquirer: O.J. and Nicole together again

Playboy: Girls of the Apocalypse

Microsoft Systems Journal: Apple loses market share

Victoria's Secret Catalog: Our final sale

Discover Magazine: How will the extinction of all life as we know it affect the way we view the cosmos?

TV Guide: Death and damnation: Nielsen ratings soar

Ladies Home Journal: Lose 10 lbs. by Judgment Day with our new 'Armageddon' diet!

Inc. magazine: 10 ways you can profit from the end of the world

Microsoft's website: If you didn't experience the Rapture, download software patch RAPT777.exe

Sports Illustrated: Game over

Wired: The last new thing

Rolling Stone:The Grateful Dead reunion tour

Readers Digest: 'Bye