Flatulation Explained


Vain: A person who loves the smell of his own farts.

Amiable: A person who loves the smell of other people's farts.

Proud: A person who thinks his farts are exceptionally fine.

Shy: A person who releases silent farts and then blushes.

Impudent: A person who boldly farts out loud and then laughs.

Unfortunate: A person who tries awfully hard to fart but poops instead.

Scientific: A person who farts regularly but is only concerned about pollution.

Nervous: A person who stops in the middle of his fart.

Honest: A person who admits he farted but offers good medical reasons.

Dishonest: A person who farts and then blames the dog.

Foolish: A person who suppresses a fart for hours and hours.

Thrifty: A person who has several good farts in reserve.

Anti-social: A person who excuses himself and farts in complete privacy.

Strategic: A person who conceals his farts with loud coughing.

Sadistic: A person who farts in bed and then fluffs the cover over his bedmate.

Intellectual: A person who can determine from the smell of his neighbor's fart precisely the latest food item consumed.

Athletic: A person who farts at the slightest exertion.

Miserable: A person who would truly love to, but can't fart at all.

Sensitive: A person who farts and then starts crying.



The Poopie List

Ghost Poopie: The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there's no poopie in the toilet.

Clean Poopie: The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there's nothing on the toilet paper.

Wet Poopie: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you won't have to ruin them with a nasty stain.

Second Wave Poopie: This happens when you're done poopie-ing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees and you realize that you have to poopie some more.

Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Forehead-Poopie: The kind where your strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.

Lincoln Log Poopie: The kind of poopie that is so huge you're afraid to flush it without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.

Gassy Poopie: It's so noisy, that everyone within earshot is laughing.

Drinker Poopie: The kind of poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.

Corn Poopie: Self-Explanatory.

Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Poopie-Poopie: The kind where you want to poopie but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.

Spinal Tap Poopie: That's where it hurts so badly coming out you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.

Wet Cheeks Poopie: (Power Dump) The kind that comes out so fast your butt cheeks get splashed with water.

Liquid Poopie: The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of you butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl.

Mexican Poopie: It smells so bad your nose burns.

Upper-Class Poopie: The kind of poopie that doesn't smell.

The Suprise Poopie: You're not even at the toilet because you're sure you're about to fart, but oops!!.......A poopie!

The Dangling Poopie: This poopie refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know your are done poopie-ing it. You just pray that wiggling will cut it lose.