Things that make you go HMMM:
Walter Cavanaugh, "Mr. Plastic Fantastic," has 1,196 different valid credit cards.
The oldest known goldfish lived to 41 years of age. It's name was
Fred.
In 1987, a 1,400-year-old lump of still-edible cheese was unearthed in Ireland.
Kotex was first manufactured as bandages, during WWI.
In Los Angeles, there are fewer people than there are automobiles.
About a third of all Americans flush the toilet while they're still sitting on it.
In 1984, a New Jersey man opened a summer camp for Cabbage Patch dolls.
In 1980, the Yellow Pages accidentally listed a Texas funeral home under frozen foods.
1,200 college students streaked at the same time in Boulder, CO in 1974.
In 1977, a 13-year-old boy discovered a tooth growing on his left foot.
In 1984, a Canadian farmer began renting ad space on his cows.
About 96% of all American children can recognize Ronald McDonald.
An average person laughs about 15 times a day.
Penguins can jump as high as 6 feet in the air.
The most money ever paid for a cow in an auction was $1.3 million.
A sneeze zooms out of your mouth at over 600 m.p.h.
America's first nudist organization was founded in 1929, by 3 men.
Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.
The average bank teller loses about $250 every year.
Howdy Doody had 48 freckles.
In 1980, there was only one country in the world with no telephones - Bhutan.
When Bugs Bunny first appeared in 1935, he was called Happy Rabbit.
You can only smell 1/20th as well as a dog.
Every time Beethoven sat down to write music, he poured ice water
over his head.
A monkey was once tried and convicted for smoking a cigarette in
South Bend, Indiana.
About 70% of Americans who go to college do it just to make more
money.
It's against the law to catch fish with your bare hands in Kansas.
Every day, an estimated 6,000 American teenagers lose their
virginity.
Someone paid $14,000 for the bra Marilyn Monroe wore in Some Like It Hot.
Some toothpastes contain antifreeze.
Millie the White House dog earned more than 4 times as much as Pres. Bush in 1991.
Bird droppings are the chief export of Nauru, an island nation in the western Pacific.
Most lipstick contains fish scales.
Lee Harvey Oswald's cadaver tag sold at an auction for $6,600 in
1992.
Spotted skunks do handstands before they spray.
Hypnotism is banned by public schools in San Diego.
The three best-known western names in China: Jesus Christ, Richard Nixon, and Elvis Presley.
When snakes are born with two heads, they fight each other for food.
Most cows give more milk when they listen to music.
Captain Kangaroo won five Emmy awards.
27% of U.S. male college students believe life is "a meaningless
existential hell."
In 1980, a Las Vegas hospital suspended workers for betting on when patients would die.
An estimated one in five Americans - some 38 million - don't like
sex.
Thomas Edison was afraid of the dark.
"Kemo Sabe" means "soggy shrub" in Navajo.
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have
produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is
produced to create an atomic bomb.
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (So what are you waiting for?)
Humans and Dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (Hmm............)
On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.
The strongest muscle in the body is the TONGUE. (Surprised?)
It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.
Americans on the average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.
Did you know that you are more likely to be killed by a champagne
cork than by a poisonous spider?
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than
left-handed people do. (Left-handies take note!!
In ancient Egypt, Priests plucked every hair from their bodies,
including their eyebrows and eyelashes. (Boy, thank God nobody does anything like that anymore!)
A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (Not sure how they found this out?? hmmmmm.......)
A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. (How do they know that????)
Polar bears are left handed.
)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds, that makes the catfish ranked #1 for the animal having the most taste buds.
The flea can jump 350 times its body length, that is equivalent to a human jumping the length of a football field.
A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death. (Of course!)
A gorilla's penis is 1/3 that of a human. (Flaccid or Erected?
wonder who's the brave guy who did the measuring?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (Now, that's the real reason why they're the kings of animal kingdom....mankind too)
The giraffe has a black tongue that is 14 inches long and about no vocal cords.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
Elephants are the only animals that can't jump. (Too heavy lah!
A cat's urine glows under a blacklight. (Got special ingredients
ah???)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
21% of us don't make our bed daily. 5% of us never do.
Men do 29% of laundry each week. Only 7% of women trust their
husbands to do it correctly
.
40% of women have hurled footwear at a man.
85% of men don't use the slit in their underwear.
67.5% of men were briefs.
The average bra size today is 36C whereas 10 years ago it was a 34B.
85% of women wear the wrong bra size.
Did you hear about the...
Paper company that folded?
Brake company on the skids?
Black Rock group - now defunked?
Bra manufacturers that went bust?
Brick company that went to the wall?
Industrial Cleaners that are washed out?
Balloon company - a victim of inflation?
Contractor for Bridges which collapsed?
Surgeon who was forced to take a cut in his salary?
Cigarette company that went up in smoke?
Baker who was short of dough?
Refrigerator manufacturer that had it's assets frozen?
Radio manufacturers that had to appoint a Receiver?
Corset firm that felt the squeeze?
Upholsterers that couldn't cover their costs?
Adhesive tape company that got into a sticky situation?
Pool equipment suppliers that took a dive?
Bowling pin manufacturer hit by strikes?
Tennis ball manufacturer that ended up in court?
Downfall of the bungee suppliers?
Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window.-- Steve Bluestone
Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.-- George Carlin
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
-- Carol Leifer
The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.-- Roger Simon
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.-- Dave Edison
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place. -- Johnny Carson
I voted for the Democrats because I didn't like the way the Republicans were running the country. Which is turning out to be like shooting yourself in the head to stop your headache.
-- Jack Mayberry
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
-- Elayne Boosler
Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?-- John Mendoza
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you.
-- Rita Mae Brown
Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the
wash.-- Jerry Seinfeld
I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.-- Lily Tomlin
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fishburger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner. -- Lynda Montgomery
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station...
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUP?
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
If they arrested the Energizer Bunny, would they charge it with
battery?
I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
I don't have a solution, but I admire your problem.
If a tin whistle is made out of tin (and it is), then what, exactly,is a fog horn made out of?
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I'm in the bathroom.
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
What WAS the best thing before sliced bread?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Orientals throw hamburgers?
Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white?
If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the car radio?
We usually dislike people who cheat, lie, or rip us off, so why do we knowingly vote for them to manage our country?
Why is it called "Taking a dump" when you don't take it anywhere you just leave it there?
How can you prove you're not crazy to people who are?
Why does 'stop smoking gum' taste worse than the cigarette itself? Wouldn't someone wanting to quit be more inclined to do so if the gum tasted better?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there
is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong ?
If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap ?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is
it considered a hostage situation ?
Is there another word for synonym ?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice" ?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs ?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all" ?
Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food ?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered
plant ?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages ?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk ?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms ? Are they afraid that someone
will clean them ?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest will it make a sound ?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell is he homeless or naked ?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains ?
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers ?
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him that he has the right
to remain silent ?
Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines ?
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign ?
Why do they sterilise the needles for lethal injections ?
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets ?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny ?
Would it be fair to characterize Disney World as a people trap operated by a mouse?
Why does cigarette smoke always drift in the direction of the nonsmoker regardless of the direction of the breeze?
Vegetarian," Indian word for "lousy hunter."
Why do scientists call it REsearch when looking for something new?
Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
Bigamy: One spouse too many.
Monogamy: Same thing.
Twenty-four cans of beer in a case. Twenty-four hours in a day!
Blondes say brains are more useful if no one knows you have them.
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
ALWAYS GIVE 100% AT WORK:
* 12% Monday
* 23% Tuesday
* 40% Wednesday
* 20% Thursday
* 5% Friday
One good thing about Alzheimer's is you get to meet new people every
day
BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER AND TASTIER, TOO.
FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION! It comes bundled with the software.
I want to die while asleep like my Grandfather, not screaming in
terror
like the passengers in his car.
I can't dial 911. There's no 11 on my phone.
Kentucky: Five Million People, Fifteen Last Names.
What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?
Can you yell "MOVIE!" in a crowded fire station?
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
HARD WORK WILL PAY OFF LATER. LAZINESS PAYS OFF NOW!
Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let her sleep.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a
vegetarian.
Don't get married. Find a woman you hate and buy her a house.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
I still miss my ex. But my aim is getting better!
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
The trouble with life is there's no background music.
If women can have PMS, then men can have ESPN.
When blondes have more fun do they know it?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Losing a wife can be hard. In my case it was almost impossible.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.