Winning the Safety Speech



Here are some actual humorus statements by several airline flight crews. Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the inflight safety lecture a bit more entertaining:
"As we prepare for take off, please make sure your tray tables and seat backs are fully upright in their most uncomfortable position."

"There maybe 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane."

"Your seat cushions can be used for floatation, and in the event of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments."

"we do feature a smoking section on this flight; if you must smoke, contact a member of the flight crew and we will escort you to the wing of the airplane."

Pilot:"Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land...it's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern."

And from the pilot during his welcome message: "We are pleased to have sime of the best flight attendants in the industry... Unfortunately none of them are on this flight."