Yo Mama So Fat

Dam, yo Mama is FAT!

Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up
Yo mama so fat her nickname is "DAMN"
Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.
Yo mama so fat were in her right now.
Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise
Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone
Yo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors
Yo mama so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her.
Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for the new world
Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy
Yo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!
Yo mama so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions!
Yo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"
Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"
Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway
Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
Yo mama so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets
Yo mama so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...
Yo mama so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.
Yo mama so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!
Yo mama so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!
Yo mama so fat you have to roll her ass in flour and look for the wet spot to fuck her
Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the bitch's good side!
Yo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!
Yo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!
Yo mama so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose.
Yo mama so fat she was mistaken for God's bowling ball!
Yo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!
Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell!
Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!
Yo mama so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!
Yo mama so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!
Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!
Yo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!
Yo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!
Yo mama so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!
Yo mama so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips!
Yo mama so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!
Yo mama so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!
Yo mama so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!
Yo mama so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!
Yo mama so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights!
Yo mama so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!
Yo mama so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
Yo mama so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping
Yo mama so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.
Yo mama so fat when she back up she beep.
Yo mama so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.
Yo mama so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get again.
Yo mama so fat she influences the tides.
Yo mama so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy fell out.
Yo mama so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.
Yo mama so fat she was baptized at Marine World.
Yo mama so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.
Yo mama so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her!
Yo mama so fat she stands in two time zones.
Yo mama so fat it takes her two trips to haul ass!
Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on theother side just to get her through.
Yo mama so fat when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.
Yo mama so fat that she cant tie her own shoes.
Yo mama so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.
Yo mama so fat she cant reach her back pocket.
Yo mama so fat when she wears a Malcomn X T-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back!
Yo mama so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water!
Yo mama so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth.
Yo mama so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures!
Yo mama so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.
Yo mama so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.
Yo mama so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.
Yo mama so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean.....
Yo mama so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, the bitch caused an eclipse.
Yo mama so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.
Yo mama so fat she was baptised in the ocean.
Yo mama so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
Yo mama so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"
Yo mama so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!
Yo mama so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
Yo mama so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts!!!
Yo mama so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.
Yo mama so fat she was Miss Arizona -- class Battleship
Yo mama so fat she accidently got a 747 caught in her teeth!
Yo mama so fat to her "light food" means under 4 Tons!
Yo mama so fat The Himalayas are practices runs to prepare for her.
Yo mama so fat she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals!!!
Yo mama so fat she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to get the fuck off!!!
Yo mama so fat and stupid, her waist size is larger than her IQ!!!
Yo mama so fat she was zoned for commercial development!
Yo mama so fat she won "Miss Bessie the Cow 94"!
Yo mama so fat she has more rolls than a mary jane truck!

Yo mama so fat...
even Ross Perot couldn't pay for her liposuction!
if she was a superhero, she would be "Incredible Bulk."
she plays hopscotch like this: Pluto, Uranus, Jupiter Earth,...
she went on a light diet... As soon as it's light she starts eating.
she went on a seafood diet... Whenever she saw food she ate it.
she could go a week without eating and still not lose weight.
she's half Indian, half Irish, and half American.
if she wears fishnet stockings, they'd better be 50 pound test!
she made weight watchers go blind.
she jumped in the ocean and they thought she was an oil spill.
when she plays football she play offense and defense.
she's moving the Earth out of its orbit.
no one can talk behind her back.
I gain weight just by watching her eat.
when she comes down the stairs she measures on the Richter scale.
when your father fell in love with her he got lost.
when she swims, she leaves stretch marks on the swimming pool.
she leaves stretch marks on the bathtub.
she uses blanket as a washcloth.
she's taller lying down.
the only thing she can fit into at the clothing store is the dressing rooms.
she pulls up a chair to an all-u-can-eat buffet.
you can pinch an inch on her forehead.
on a scale of 1 to 10, she's a 747.
she has a greater gravitational attraction than a black hole.
when she wears corduroy pants, the ridges don't show.
she made Richard Simmons cry.
even Richard Simmons laughs at her.
when she wears a purple sweater people call her "Barney."
when she sits in a chair, the rolls on her legs, cover her feet like a blanket.
when she comes in your house the tires pop.
she don't know wether she's walking or rolling.
she makes sumo wrestlers look anerexic.
she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck.
one day when she got in a fight the person fighting her got lost in her.
when she wore a shirt with an AA on it, people thought it was American Airlines biggest jet.
if she were an airplane, she'd be a jumbo jet.
one day she was lifting up her rolls and a car fell out.
Dr. Martens had to kill 3 cows just to make her a pair of shoes.
she can't stay on a basketball court for three seconds without getting called for a key violation.
she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step.
all the chairs in her house have seatbelts.she smells like bacon at 90 degrees.
and her back is so crooked, when she lays down...people say "I didn't know we had mountains."
when she travels, she's gotta make two trips.
when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
she has to grease her hands to get into her pockets.
she has two stomachs: One for meat, one for vegetables.
NASA orbits satellites around her.
NASA is going to use her to fill the hole in the ozone layer.
I saw her in New York, and when I told my friend in LA, he'd seen her too.
she looks like the Stay-Puft marshmallow man on steroids.
she sat on a dollar and made change.
she has to get out of the car to change gears.
she uses a pillow case as a sock.
her skates went flat.
she has 48 midnight snacks.
she eats cereal out of a satellite dish.
she sat in Big Foot and made it a lowrider.
when she got on the bus she turned it into a low rider.
when she walks down the street everyone yells "Earthquake!"
when she walks down the street, you can hear her hips saying to each other "If you let me by, I'll let you pass."
when she walks in front of the T.V., you miss 5 minutes of your show.
when she volunteered to clean cages at the zoo, people walked by and said "Look at the elephant!"
they changed my Physics book to say "What goes up must come down, except Yo mama's fat."
she plays hopscotch like this: Pluto, Uranus, Jupiter Earth,...
she broke the stairway to heaven!
people jog around her for exercise
she's been declared a natural habitat for Condors
she has to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.
when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th
when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too!
she fell in love and broke it.
she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!
God couldn't light Earth till she moved!
NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!
whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
she's got Amtrak written on her leg.
even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!
when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!
she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!
when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house!
even her clothes have stretch marks!
she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!
when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearing tights!
they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!
she has to buy two airline tickets.
when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get again.
she influences the tides.
that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
the animals at the zoo feed her.
when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.
she stands in two time zones.
that she can't tie her own shoes.
she sets off car alarms when she runs.
she cant reach her back pocket.
she uses redwoods to pick her teeth.
the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures!
she hoola-hooped the super bowl.
she was baptised in the ocean.
they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!
that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
to her "light food" means under 4 Tons
she was zoned for commercial development
she won "Miss Bessie the Cow 94"
when I yell "Kool-Aid," she comes crashing through the wall.
at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts.
when she bends over we go into daylight savings time.
when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.
she can't even jump to a conclusion.
she stepped on a talking scale and it said "Please step out of the car."
no one can talk behind her back.
she eats cookies like tic tacs.
she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us!
she eats pumpkin pies like Skittles.
she tried to get an all-over tan, and the sun burned out.
she uses hula hoops to hold up her socks.
she went to a Chinese Restaurant and ordered a 40oz. of gravy.
she sat on an Oreo and unlocked the magic.
she uses the carpet as a blanket. her belly button's got an echo.
she rollerskates on busses.
she needs a bookmark to find her necklace.
she uses bacon for band-aids.
she's jealous of the wall.
she hitch-hikes on dump trucks
that she needs a sock for each toe
she was the cause of a major crash.
when she sits in the classroom, she sits beside everybody.
they wrote a book about her, it was called Moby Dick.
when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
that she cant tie her own shoes.
she got a ham for a pet.
when I walked by her house, I saw her in every window!
one day it was raining and she put on her yellow coat to go down the street and a kid saw her and said "Dang, I missed the bus again!".
she played Free Willy's stunt double.
when she falls in the Grand Canyon, she gets stuck.
that when she drives on the interstate, she has to stop at the weigh station.
when she jumps off the high dive she shows up on radar.
that people wish to buy food 100% "Yo Mama Free"
they won't allow her on most bridges.
the police dogs stopped her at the airport for having 10 lbs of crack.
when she sat on an ice berge she made crushed ice!!!
she got hit by a car and said, "Who touched me?"
when she looks in a mirror, she saw another mirror.
when the guy cursed "thinner" on her she said thanks.
she can lay down and stand up and her height doesn't change.
when she dances, she makes the band skip.
the horse on her Polo shirt is real.
when she works at the movie theater, her job's the screen.
when she runs she makes the CD player skip... at the radio station.
her belly jiggle is the first ever perpetual motion machine.
all the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama"
when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
instead of Levis 501 jeans, she wears Levi's 1002's.
when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.
all of her clothes have to be custom made by a contractor.
when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blanket" she got back in bed.
when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 5 years to live.
she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.
she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.