|
First Contact
Page Two While we stayed at the apartment, I felt something
was amiss,I couldn't put my finger on it. It certainly was there. Larisa
did not like to go anywhere. She seemed to enjoy being at Mama's for
the most part. Me; I liked to be constantly on the go, looking , exploring,
learning. It had snowed quite a bit in Sevastopol, I chalked
Larisa's feelings to this. Then one day I went for a haircut. She
went with me. I had my hair cut and when we left she would not hold
my outstretched hand. I eventually noticed that this was because the
girls in the shop were looking out the window. This was an obvious
rejection but being blinded by love I did not see it at the time. Larisa
and I had decided to marry and I took this commitment very seriously. I
paid to have her divorce finalized. She and I went to Kiev for the
last week of my three week visit. We went to the appropriate civil
authorities for documents and the paperwork that would be needed for her
and Anna to come to the United States on a K-1 Visa. We stayed in
the Hotel Ukraine for two days. Ninety dollars a day, worth $23. We
stayed two days there and then finished our visit with Larisa's classmate
from her Pedagogical ( Teachers) Institute. My stay with her friends
was extremely pleasant. The husband was the Facilities Manager for
a large section of apartments on the route to Borispil. They had a
pleasant 4 room apartment on the 5th floor. The elevator always worked
and they always had running water! What luxury. There were two boys
12 and 14. They were bright, intelligent, responsible and kind. Mother
and sons spoke plausible English. Genady, the husband was an
excellent host and exemplified the best of Russian men. Excellent
responsible provider. The wife was the consummate Mother and Housewife.
I did see the validity and wisdom of choosing to marry Ukrainian
stock. We had a party the day before I left to go back to America a
real feast, the neighbors were brought in we sang our repertory and in general
had a very good time. Everyone was disappointed that I did not drink.
I totally abstain from alcohol as I feel it is a poison and it has
a tendency to corrupt the soul. The next day we took Larisa to Zhulany
Airport. While getting tickets we ran into one of Anna's former
teachers she was getting a plane to Stockholm she was 42 beautiful and married
to a Swede and had been visiting her Mother in Kiev. Small world. Larisa
got her ticket to Sevastopol, I had to go to Borispol to catch my flight.
We kissed on the steps of the Terminal. As we drove out of sight
I saw her standing there, her face sad. Was that tears? it was the last
time I would see her for several years. I had left her with about $900
to facilitate her transition and immigration to the U.S. Genady
drove me to Borispol and saw me off on my flight back. he had given
me a painting that I admired on his wall. He helped get it through Customs
for me. It is here behind me as I write this. A reminder of this
good family in Kiev. There are many good Russian men.
After returning home I wrote to Larisa.
I also did a web site for the Agency that her cousin worked
for. This was the Sharm Agency. They are still in business
but using a different system the website is abandoned but still digitally
intact at: http://www.oocities.org/Paris/Maison/6757/sharmindex.html
I stayed associated with this agency until July of 1999. I enjoyed
finding husbands for women and was instrumental in marrying off a number
of, "Hard to Place" ladies. That is women over 40 with multiple dependents.
I posted profiles everyplace I could find to post them. Whoops
Sorry I am getting off track here. I received a letter from Larisa
saying she was going to Moscow to get something concerning back support
for Anna from her husband. He is an officer in the Russian Navy, stationed
in Vladivostock. It made sense to me. Eventually I learned that
Larisa had almost immediately taken the money I had given her and caught
a flight to Vladivostock to be with her husband. This is the same
guy she had walked out on a year before because, "He would get drunk
and beat her and Anna!" She left Anna with Babushka. Of course
I was devastated. I became fully aware of all this by the end
of January 1999. Even though Nadine, the cousin, tried to hide this
from me by masquerading as Larisa in E-mail a couple of times. I
eventually recognised it and went on with my life. I never cried "Scammer"
it wasn't this. It was incompatibility. She had been separated
less than a year a big no no as far as immediate relationships are concerned.
Of course the sadness of lost love and the loss of a daughter.
Anna was and is an Angel. I still miss her and hope to see her again. I
would have been happy to have provided a home and life to this child.
Why did it fail? One thing , although Larisa conceived most
letters, Nadine would actually write them. She would add substance
from her soul to each one. It is a fault of many translators. Only
half of what I thought of Larisa was a reality! Even though she at
first accepted me as a 58 year old guy. It eventually settled in to
her as I puffed my way up seven flights of stairs that I was, perhaps too
old for her. Two cripples was one too many. Of course I am better
off for this experience. I learned what to look for and how to look
for it. I was also successful and am happily married to the best Ukrainian
Woman in the world! So I have Larisa to thank for my happiness. She
could have gone through with our plans and you would be reading about
another failure. Divorce craziness and unhappy unhappiness. I would
be paying a ton of alimony and child support!
Epilogue As I have written I am now married, happily
to the right woman. She is 35 years younger but this is what works for
us. Of course there will be naysayers. They will interject their
parameters, desires and prejudices in our relationship and grade it
according to their own potential failures. We though, my wife and I,
live and love life together fully and have a wonderful relationship. Larisa
eventually left her husband, returned to Sevastopol, with her came her new
baby, a boy .
. I saw her profile on American Singles
late last year. I hope she is successful and happy. I returned
to Sevastopol in June of 1999, it was then I met my wife. I wrote to
dozens of women and met many of them. Even one from Novosibirsk, Russia,
she met me in Sevastopol, at my expense. I will recount all of this
to all who will listen as I think there is wisdom in here somewhere.
I visited Anna, my lost Doche (Daughter), and her grandmother my wife was
our interpreter. Babushka speaks no English but I understood her when she
told me she was sorry that it did not work out as, "I know you are a good
man. Of course she saw me with the eyes of a 62 year old lady. I started
a marriage agency of my own in June of 1999 and kept it going for about
a year and a half. I will one day write about this from the inside.
One more: My wife and I visited Sevastopol in March of 2003,
on the corner of Ochakovtsev and; Oktoborskogo there stood Larisa, she was
talking to another lady on the street. She was now 38 years old, still
beautiful. I wanted to speak but I was too polite to interupt. She
didn't recognise me. We were also in a hurry as Yana, my wife was rushing
to the dentist to finish her crowns. I whispered to Yana, "There's
Larisa!" She said, "Oh yes I should thank her. She didn't.
|