After I was released from the hospital, I went back to visit the Northridge Meadows apartments. I was told by workers that the only way I could retrieve anything from my apartment was going to be the same way I got out. Crawling in and out on my belly.
I thought by taking this photo, you could realize exactly what 18-24 inches of crawl space really is.
I met Don Stein, one of the L.A.F.D. Search & Rescue workers. Don does the Search & Rescue part time, as a volunteer job. He is the one that heard Jerry or me calling for help. We went to go see Jerry who was still at the Northridge Hospital.. The L.A. Times and the Daily News were there to do an interview that evening, I don't know who called them, but I think Don did. Jerry was still in bed, but looked pretty good! God were we lucky!! It was so good to see him.
After we saw Jerry and did an interview with the newspapers I think there was a TV station there too, Don and I went by the Northridge Meadows apartments. What a terrible mess it was. We walked all around it, a lot of damage to the building and a lot of other buildings in the area, I just kept shaking my head, just couldn't believe how lucky I was to get out of it. The whole building shifted about 12 to 15 feet to the North. We went into some people's yard behind our building, you could see where the walls had cracked.
I remember how important it was for me to find out later just how long the Search & Rescue teams looked for survivors. Was it a fluke that we got found, did they do a room by room search?? After talking with Don and the fire dept. I did feel better. Not sure why but it was important to me. I suppose I kept thinking that I might have been left for dead, what a horrible thought, it made me think about the people trapped in their cars on the freeway in Oakland in 89'. I just needed to know how long they continued to look for people, bodies etc.. Being pinned there for so long, so much time to think.
I can remember praying to God, knowing that I had done something's that I wasn't proud of, hoping that the good out weigh the bad. Please God let me have the chance to make things right or better, I'm not ready to die I said over an over again.....and he did give me the chance!!! Are any of us ready to die?? I use to think that everything happen for a reason......but sometimes things just happens!! There is no way that all those people died for a reason!! You wouldn't let me survive to punish me or put me through more stuff, would you God? So what I did is worked on those things and wrote them in a journal. Who knows what might become of these writings. If nothing else, it's good to be able to write it all down! It helps with all the time and I'm sure it's good for me, it's part of my recovery.
My main concern now was once or twice a year doctors have to perform surgery again because someone's collar bone doesn't heal correctly by itself, at least my odds are good! Surgery was rebreaking the bone!! I'm was beginning to feel better, but I don't and haven't slept worth beans since this has happen. I keep waking up from dreams, nightmares....being right back in that apartment again and trapped. I'm getting frustrated because I get tired so soon and there is just something's I can't do.
I spent a lot of time on the phone with the insurance company, FEMA, SDI and people from work, it's so frustrating...talking to different people and getting a different story from each of them. I still have trouble when I'm watching something about the quake and me or reading it. I begin to cry and of course my dreams, waking up, tossing and turning do not help to give me a good nights sleep. Those sounds I'll never forget!