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                 Top Ten Signs You've Purchased A Bad Beer



10. TV Ads Begin "From the sparkling waters of Lake Erie. . ." 

9.  The second you take a sip, your liver explodes 

8.  For some reason, it's sold in the detergent aisle 

7.  It was actually brewed by Penny Marshall and Cindy Williams 

6.  Instead of a wagon pulled by Clydesdales, beer company has a wheel
    barrow pushed by a doped-up monkey 

5.  The company isn't running any sort of sweepstakes, but the
    underside of the bottle caps all say "Sorry" 

4.  Tastes more like a mountain goat than a mountain stream 

3.  Picture on label is of a guy throwing up 

2.  Your girlfriend announces she's leaving you for Billy Dee Williams 

1.  When you crack a couple open on a fishing trip and say, "It doesn't
    get any better than this," your buddies kill themselves