I will not waste chalk I will not aim for the head I will not skateboard in the halls I will not barf unless I'm sick I will not burp in class I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty I will not instigate revolution I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge I will not draw naked ladies in class I will not conduct my own fire drills I did not see Elvis I will return the seeing-eye dog Funny noises are not funny I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes" I will not snap bras Garlic gum is not funny I will not fake seizures They are laughing at me, not with me This punishment is not boring and meaningless I will not yell "fire" in a crowded classroom My name is not Dr. Death I will not encourage others to fly I will not defame New Orleans I will not fake my way through life I will not prescribe medication Tar is not a plaything I will not bury the new kid I will not Xerox my butt I will not teach others to fly It's potato, not potatoe I will not bring sheep to class I will not trade pants with others A burp is not an answer The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy I am not a 32 year old woman Teacher is not a leper I will not do that thing with my tongue Coffee is not for kids I will not drive the principal's car I will not eat things for money I will not pledge allegiance to Bart I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call I will not sell school property The principal's toupee is not a frisbee I will not cut corners I will not squeak chalk I do not have diplomatic immunity I will not charge admission to the bathroom I will not get very far with this attitude Goldfish don't bounce I will not make flatulent noises in class Mud is not one of the 4 food groups I will not belch the National Anthem No one is interested in my underpants I will not sell land in Florida I will not sell miracle cures I will not grease the monkey bars Underwear should be worn on the inside I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment The Christmas pageant does not stink I will not do anything bad ever again I will not torment the emotionally frail I will not show off I will not call the principal "spud head" I will not carve gods I will not sleep through my education I will not spank others I am not a dentist I will not bribe Principal Skinner Spitwads are not free speech I will finish what I start Nobody likes sunburn slappers "Bart Bucks" are not legal tender High explosives and school don't mix Hamsters cannot fly All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man I will not go near the kindergarten turtle I am not deliciously saucy Organ transplants are best left to the professionals I will not send lard through the mail I will not use abbrev. Five days is not too long to wait for a gun Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the Principal Indian burns are not our cultural heritage There are plenty of businesses like show business I will not dissect things unless instructed I will not hang donuts on my person No one wants to hear my armpits I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface I will not celebrate meaningless milestones I will not strut around like I own the place Next time it could be me on the scaffolding The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist I am not a lean mean spitting machine The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with Hail Satan I will not whittle hall passes out of soap Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things I do not have power of attorney over first graders Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr I am not certified to remove asbestos "Bagman" is not a legitimate career choice I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball I will remember to take my medication The boys room is not a water park Beans are neither fruit nor musical Nerve gas is not a toy "Bewitched" does not promote Satanism The First Amendment does not cover burping Ralph won't "morph" if you squeeze him hard enough
Text file Source (historic): geocities.com/southbeach/lagoon/6958
geocities.com/southbeach/lagoongeocities.com/southbeach
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