-  I can't believe that outfit she is wearing.  (Said disdainfully)

-  Look at that guy... over there... behind the woman.

-  I think that's a man dressed as a woman.   (Incredulous)

-  Isn't that the actress from the movie Delicatessen?
   (Chances are she hasn't seen that movie- and neither have you,
   but you will get brownie points naming a foreign film,
    and it will be just obtuse enough to distract her

-  I think that's the girl I knew from high school who eventually
   joined a convent (or was committed to an asylum) and turned out
   to be a real nut cass

-  Help me, I got something in my eye... can't see a thing!

-  I was staring off into space because I was about to have an
   epiphany about the direction of my life and the nature of my
   love for you, but its gone now, thank you very much!

-  Hey that's the loser I dumped in order to go out with you.
   Boy am I glad I ever got away from her.  What a moron.

-  I know you're probably thinking I was staring at a
   beautiful woman, but to me she is like one of those fancy bakery
   cakes that looks good, but then you have a bite and it is so
   sweet that it makes you sick. She makes me sick.
   (It helps if you convulse a little at the end here.. maybe it will
   camouflage your drool).

-  I was just thinking how I felt sorry for her - since she can
   never hold a candle to you
   (this one might only get you punched, but its worth a try).

-  Do you think she's prettier than me?
   (Give her a taste of her own medicine)