Submitted by Tracy Henry
>>1. Leave the copy machine set to
reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch
>>paper, 99 copies.
>>2. In the memo field of all your checks, write
"for sensual
>>massage."
>>3. Specify that your drive-through order is
"to go."
>>4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it with your pen
while talking to
>>others.
>>5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
>>6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers
running in all
>>weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
>>7. Reply to everything someone says with
"that's what YOU think."
>>8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
>>9. Highlight irrelevant material in scientific
papers and "cc." them
>>to your boss.
>>10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
>>11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in
accordance with
>>prophesy."
>>12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your
hands over
>>your ears.
>>13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally"
flip the cartridge across
>>the room.
>>14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
>>15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are
green, and
>>insist to others that you "like it that way."
>>16. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
>>17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a
"croaking"
>>noise.
>>18. Honk and wave to strangers.
>>19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat
their
>>complimentary mints by the cash register.
>>20. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
>>21. type only in lowercase.
>>22. don t use any punctuation either
>>23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and
reroute whole
>>streets.
>>24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen
times: "Do you hear
>>that?", "What?" "Never mind,
it's gone now."
>>25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
>>26. Try playing the William Tell Overture (The Lone
Ranger Theme) by
>>tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly
done, announce, no,
>>wait, I messed it up,"and repeat.
>>27. Ask people what gender they are.
>>28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your
head like a
>>parakeet.
>>29. Sit in your yard pointing a hair dryer at passing
cars to see if
>>they slow down.
>>30. Sing along at the opera.
>>31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't
rhyme.
>>32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then
scribble the
>>answers in a notebook. Mutter something about
"psychological profiles."
>>33. TELL YOUR FRIENDS 4 DAYS PRIOR, THAT YOU CAN'T ATTEND
THEIR
>>PARTY BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT IN THE MOOD!