It will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will scramble

>any disks that are even close to your computer. It will recalibrate

>your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream gets melted.

>It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, screw up the

>tracking on your VCR and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any

>CD's you try to play.

>

>It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new phone number. It will mix

>antifreeze into your fishtank. It will drink all your beer and leave

>its socks out on the coffee table when there's company coming over. It

>will put a dead mouse in the back pocket of your good suit and hide your

>car keys when you are late for work.

>

>Badtimes will make you fall in love with a penguin. It will give you

>nightmares about circus midgets. It will pour sugar in your petrol tank

>and shave off both your eyebrows while dating your current

>boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing the dinner and hotel room to

>your Visa card.

>

>It will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if she is dead,

>such is the power of Badtimes, it reaches out beyond the grave to sully

>those things we hold most dear. It moves your car randomly around

>parking lots so you can't find it.

>

>It will kick your dog. It will leave libidinous messages on your boss's

>voice mail in your voice! It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous

>and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of

>mauve.

>

>Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the toilet seat

>up. It will make a batch of Methamphetamine in your bathtub and then

>leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to chase High School

>kids with your new snowblower.

>