Submitted by Tracy Henry
> A businessman and his secretary,
overcome by passion, go to
> his house for an early afternoon "quickie."
>
> "Don't worry," he purrs. "My wife is out of
town on a business trip,
> there's no risk."
>
> As one thing leads to another, the woman reaches into her
purse
> and suddenly gasps, "We have to stop, I forgot to bring
birth control!"
>
> "No problem," her lover replies. "I'll get my
wife's diaphragm."
>
> After a few minutes of searching, he returns to the bedroom
in
> a fury. "That witch!" he exclaims.
"She took it with her!
> I always knew she didn't trust me!
>
> (2)
> A man and his young son are in the drugstore when the
> son comes across the condoms and asks his father what
> they are. The dad replies, "Well son, those are
condoms
> and they're for protection when you're having sex."
>
> The son then picks up one of the packs and asks why it
> has three in it. The dad replies, "Those are for high
> school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one
> for Sunday."
>
> The son then picks up one with six condoms asks, "Why
six?"
>
> The dad replies, "Well son, those are for college men.
Two
> for Friday, two for Saturday and two for Sunday."
>
> The son then notices the 12 pack of condoms and asks the
> same question.
>
> The dad replies, "Son, those are for married men.
> One for January, one for February, one for March...."
> (3)
> >An 80-year-old man is having his annual checkup.
The doctor asks him
> >how he's feeling.
> >
> >"I've never been better! " he replies.
"I've got an 18-year-old bride
> >who's pregnant and having my child! What do you
think about that?"
> >
> >The doctor considers this for a moment, then says,
"Well, let me tell
> >you a story... I know a guy who's an avid
hunter. He never misses a
> >season. But one day he's in a bit of a hurry and
he accidentally grabs
> >his umbrella instead of his gun.
> >
> >So he's in the woods and suddenly a grizzly bear appears
in front of
> >him! He raises up his umbrella, points it at the
bear, and squeezes
> >the handle. The bear drops dead in front of
him."
> >
> >"That's impossible! Someone else must have
shot that bear."
> >
> >"Exactly."
> >