> One Liners

Submitted by Neysa Rhodes

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

I almost had a psychic boyfriend, but he left me before we met.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Mind Like A Steel Trap -- Rusty and Illegal in 37 States

Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of Religion

If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some don't have film.

If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

Who is General Failure, and why is he reading my hard drive?

What happens if you get scared to death twice?

I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark

Laughing stock: Cattle with a sense of humor

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

OK, so what is the speed of dark?

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.

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