You Have A Dirty Mind
I was scared at first. It was very wide, and very long,
and it angled straight up. I decided I had to try it once. I slowly and
carefully eased myself onto it. It felt weird at first. Then I got used to it. I
went up and down, and up and down on it. I was really loving it. Now I ride on
escalators all the time.
I took my fingers and slowly, gently stretched it
apart. It was so pure and white. I licked it once, twice... I found I couldn't
stop. I licked it faster and faster, and harder. I began to scrape my teeth
against it. There it was, in my mouth! All sweet and creamy. I was done. I threw
away the outsides of my Oreo cookie.
I squeezed it gently at first, then a little bit
harder. There seemed to be more and more of it. I moved it towards my lips. It
was a strange and new sensation for me. I put it in my mouth and moved it around
and around with my tongue. The time soon came when I knew I had to spit it out.
It was quite an experience the 1st time I tasted toothpaste.
They were both round and firm. There was only the
slightest difference between the two. I took one in my hand and twisted it
hard. I used my other hand to grab the other one and twist it hard the other
way. Now there's a brighter light bulb in the livingroom.
It was laying limp in my hand. It was very long,
kind of thin. I slid it between my fingers until I got to the end of it. I was
turning it on. It became firm in my hands, and the end was wet. Then it got very
hard and began gushing out of the tip. Then I took the garden hose and watered
the bushes.
I knew it could be done. I wanted to try but I
didn't know if I could do it. I called my friend. He said he knew how to do it
and would teach me. He put his arms around me and started. I watched nervously
in the mirror. He finally finished and pulled back slowly. I felt relieved that
it was over. I hate neckties.
It looked warm and dark, and juicy and inviting. I
wasn't sure just what I wanted to do with it. I carefully pulled it apart with
my fingers to look into it better. I knew how great it would be if I just
started eating it. But I decided on catsup for my burger.
They were two of the biggest balls I had ever seen!
They hung so heavy and low. I tried lifting them gently, but that wasn't enough.
They had to be pulled, and I pulled on them very very hard. They finally came. I
moved them to a higher spot on the Christmas tree.
Joke submitted by Ron !
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