Eel...
Little Johnny was 12 years old and like other
boys his age, rather curious, he had been hearing quite a bit about
"courting" from the older boys and wondered what it was and how it was
done. One day he took his questions to his mother, who became rather
flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to
hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her
boyfriend. This he did. The following morning, Johnny
described everything to his mother.
"Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for
a while, then he turned off most of the lights. Then he started kissing and
hugging her. I figured sis must be getting sick because her face
started looking funny. He must have thought so too, because he put
his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just like the doctor
would. Except, he's not as smart as the doctor, because he seemed to
have trouble finding her heart.
I guess he was getting sick too, because pretty
soon both of them started panting
and getting all out of breath. His other hand must have been cold,
because he put it under her skirt. About this time, sis got worse,
and began to moan and sigh and squirm around and slide down the end of the
couch. This was when the fever started. I knew it was a
fever because sis told him she was really hot. Finally, I found our
what was making them so sick.... a big eel had gotten inside his pants
somehow... it jumped out of his pants and stood there, about ten inches
long.
Honest. Anyway he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting
away.
When sis saw it, she got really scared... her
eyes got big, and her mouth fell open and she started calling out to God and
stuff like that. She said it was the biggest one she's ever seen; I
should tell her about the one down at the lake!
Anyway, sis got brave and tried to kill the eel
by biting it's head off. All of a sudden, she made a noise and let the eel
go. I guess it bit her
back. Sis then grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he
took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eel's head to keep it
from biting again. Sis then layed back and spread her legs so she
could get a scissor lock on its head, he helped by lying on top of the
eel.
The eel put up a hell of a fight.
Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the
couch. I guess they wanted to kill the eel by squashing it between
them.
After a while, they both quit moving and gave a
great sigh. Her boyfriend got up, and sure enough they had killed
the eel. I knew it was dead, because it just hung there, limp and
some of its insides was hanging out.
Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired form
the battle, but they went back to courting anyway. He started
hugging and kissing her again. By golly, the eel wasn't
dead! It jumped straight up and started to fight again.
I guess eels are like cats....they have nine lives or
something.
This time, sis jumped up and tried to kill the
eel by sitting on it. After a 36 minute struggle, they finally killed the
eel. I knew it was dead because i saw sis boyfriend peel its skin
off and flush it down the
toilet"
toilet"
By this time, Johnny's mother had passed out
cold
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