In A Place Long Ago...
Whole countries came together for the wrestling championships. The tournament was being totally dominated by a huge German named Igor.
Igor had two devastating holds. His first hold was called the Half Pretzel! Anyone who had ever escaped from that hold never got out with anything less then a two week stay in the hospital.
The second hold he called the Full Pretzel. No one had ever lived through the Full Pretzel!
Only this time nobody would challenge Igor. The announcer was begging the crowd for a challenger. Please, won't anyone fight Igor? He pleaded.
Finally a little guy way in the back stands up. "My name is McTavish and I will challenge him!" He says.
So Igor and McTavish begin brawling and within moments Igor has McTavish in a half pretzel. McTavish spends the last of his energy in one last ditch attempt but fails as Igor puts him into a full pretzel.
The announcer says to the crowd, "It looks grim for McTavish folks."
Just as the referee is about to call Igor the winner McTavish explodes out of the full pretzel with such force that Igor is thrown to the ground on conscious. The startled referee proclaims McTavish the winner.
Later when McTavish was getting interviewed about the fight he was asked how he ever got out of Igor's famous Full Pretzel hold.
McTavis said, "I was totally tied up. All I could see was this big willie dangling in front of me. At that point the only thing I could do was to bite down on that willie as hard as I could."
"You never know how much energy you have until you bite your own willie!
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