Monkey
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and
while he's drinking it the monkey jumps around all over the place. The
monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes
and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in
his mouth and swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy,
"Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy says, "No,
what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table, whole!", says
the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the
patron. He eats everything in sight, the little bastard.
I'll pay
for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill,
and leaves.
Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey
with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar
again. While the man is drinking his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry
on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats
it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey
did now?", he asks. "Now what?", responds the patron.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate
it!" says the barkeeper.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me,"
replied the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever
since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first."
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