A guy is having marital problems. He and the wife are not communicating anymore and he's lonesome, so he goes to a pet store thinking a pet might help. The store he happens into specializes in parrots. As he wanders down the rows of parrots he notices one with no feet. Surprised, he mutters "I wonder how he hangs onto the perch?"

The parrot says, "With my penis, dummy."

The guy is startled and says, "You certainly talk well for a parrot."

The parrot says, "Yes, thank you... I'm a very well educated parrot. I can discuss politics, sports, religion, almost any subject you wish."

The guy says, "Gee, you sound like just what I was looking for."

The parrot replies, "There's not much of a market for maimed parrots, you know. If you offer the proprietor $2 for me, I'll bet he'll sell me."

The guy buys the parrot and for three months things go great. Every day when he comes home from work the parrot tells him Clinton said this, the A's won, the Giant's lost, the Pope did so and so.

But then one day the guy comes home from work and the parrot waves a wing at him and says, "Come in and shut the door."

The guy says, "What's up?"

The parrot says, "I don't know how to tell you this, but the mailman came today. Your wife answered the door in her negligee and he kissed her right on the lips."

The guy says, "Oh, just a momentary flight of passion."

The parrot says, "Then he fondled her breasts."

The guy says, "He did?"

"Yep," says the parrot. "Then he took off her negligee and started sucking on her breasts."

The guy exclaims, "My God, what happened next???"

The parrot says, "I don't know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"

 

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