Every guy has one...Which one is yours?

The Nuprin Penis: Little, yellow, different, better.
The Equal Penis: Tastes like sugar.
The Raid Penis: Kills bugs dead.
The Excedrin Penis: It's tttthhhhhhhhiiiiissssss big.
The Sprite Penis: Image is nothing, thirst is everything. Obey your thirst.
The Snickers Penis: It satisfies you.
The AlkaSeltzer Penis: Pop, pop, fizz, fizz...Oh, what a relief it is...
The Magnavox Penis: Smart. Very smart.
The Life Call Penis: It's fallen and it can't get up.
The American Express Penis: Don't leave home without it.
The Tootsie Pop Penis: How many licks does it take...
The Pringles Penis: Once you pop, you can't stop.
The M&M Penis: Melts in your mouth, not in your hand.
The Frosted Flakes Penis: They're GGGRRRRRRRREEEEAAAAATTTTT!!!!!
The Lucky Charms Penis: They're magically delicious.
The Energizer Penis: It keeps going and going and going...
The Metra Penis: The way to really fly.
The Right Guard Penis: Anything less is uncivilized.
The Jolly Green *Giant* Penis: Self-explanatory.
The Campbell's Soup Penis: Mmm mmm good.
The Monty Python Penis I: "Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis..."
The Monty Python Penis II: "Every sperm is sacred..."
The Domino's Pizza Penis: Delivers in 30 minutes or less.
The Kix Penis: Kid tested, mother approved.
The McDonald's Penis I: Over 8 billion served.
The McDonald's Penis II: Have you had your penis today?
The Tombstone Penis: What would you like on your penis?
The Ragu Penis: Comes out chunkier than the rest.
The Chips Ahoy Penis: Betcha bite a chip. (huh?)
The Cobain Penis: It blows itself away.
The Purdue Penis: More meat, less bone.
The Hefty Penis: There's the right way, or the hefty way.
The All-State Penis: You're in good hands.
The 7-Up Penis: The UN-Penis.
The Nike Penis: Just do it.
The Borden Penis: It's got to be good.
The Barq's Penis: The one with bite.
The Beef Penis: It's what's for dinner.
The Bud Lite Penis: Less filling, tastes great.
The Subway Penis: Where fresh is the taste.
The Kentucky Fried Chicken Penis: Everybody needs a little.
The Life Penis: Mikey likes it.
The Transformers Penis: It's more than meets the eye.
The Twizzler Penis: It makes mouths happy.
The Nintendo Penis: Now you're playing with power.
The Sega Penis: PENIS!
The Robitussin Penis: Used by 9 out of 10 moms.
The Crest Penis: Recommended by 3 out of 4 dentists.
The Champion Penis: The official penis of the U.S. Olympic Team.
The Starburst Penis: The juice is loose.
The Toyota Penis: I love what you do for me.
The THX Penis: Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
The Citibank Visa Penis: It's everywhere you want to be.
The Timex Penis: Takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'.
The Burger King Penis: Have it your way.
The Dairy Queen Penis: Hot eats, cool treats.
The Army Pemis: Be all that you can be.
The Uncle Sam Penis: we want you.
The Milk Penis I: It does a body good. The Milk Penis II: Got penis?
The Flintstone's Vitamins Penis: 10 million strong and growing.
The Wendy's Penis: Where's the Penis?
The Wizard of Oz Penis: "Oh, my!"
The Captain Planet Penis: Go PENIS!!
The Folger's Crystals Penis: The best part of waking up is penis in your cup.
The Lays Penis: Betcha can't eat just one.
The Mr. Clean Penis: Is it wet or is it dry?
The Diet Coke Penis: Just for the taste of it...
The Doublemint Penis: Chewing really satisfies.
The Juicyfruit Penis: The taste is gonna move ya.
The Big Red Penis: It's longer with Big Red.
The Matthew Sweet Penis: 100% fun.
The Millikin Penis: Big blue.
The Robitussin Penis: Recommended by Dr. Mom.
The Neon Penis: Hi.
The Little Caesar's Penis: Penis! Penis!
The Generic Penis: One size fits all.
The Stanley Cup Penis: Go Penis Crazy!
The Rave Music Penis: Y'all ready for this:
The Mortal Kombat Penis: Nothing can prepare you.
The Bounty Penis: The quicker picker-upper.
The Pizza Hut Penis: Makin' it great!
The Bounce Penis: With static guard.
The Budweiser Penis: This penis's for you.
The Siskel & Ebert Penis: Two thumbs up.
The George of the Jungle Penis: Watch out for that....tree.
The Nyquil Penis: The nighttime sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever, so you can rest penis.
The Rice Krispies Penis: What does your penis say to you?
The Extra Penis: Lasts an extra, extra, extra long time.
The Wonder Bubbles Penis I: Magic Wand inside!
The Wonder Bubbles Penis II: For ages 3 and up.
The Phantom of the Opera Penis: Music of the night.
The Webster's Thesaurus Penis: How many words are there for penis?
The Charmin Penis: Don't squeeze the penis!
The Charmin Double Roll Penis: It lasts longer because it is longer.
The Sears Penis: Come see the brighter side.
The Jewel Penis:Take a new look at an old friend.
The C&C Music Factory Penis: Gonna make you sweat.
The Rick James Penis: It's SUPERFREAKY.
The Gilette Penis: The best a man can get.
The Bacardi Penis: Taste the feeling.
The Macintosh Penis: Power is everything.
The Borg Penis: Resistance is futile.
The Edge Shaving Cream Penis: Ultimate closeness, ultimate comfort.
The Beatles Penis: Now a quarter smaller than it used to be.
The Oasis Penis: Thinks it's the Beatles penis.
The Jell-O Penis: Look at it wiggle, look at it jiggle.
The Virginia Slims Penis: You've come a long way, baby.
The AT&T Penis: Reach out and touch someone.
The Highlander Penis: In the end, there can be only one.
The Secret Penis: Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
The Micro Machines Penis: A whole world, in the palm of your hand.
The Ertl Penis: Just like the real thing, only smaller.
The Maxwell House Penis: Good to the last drop.
The Swiss Miss Penis: The taste you can enjoy anytime, anywhere.
The Narcicisstic Penis: Mine is better than yours!
The Payday Penis: It's almost totally nuts.
The Yellow Pages Penis: Let your fingers do the walking.
The Sony Play Station Penis: You are not ready.
The Heinz 57 Penis: Good things come to those who wait.
The Reese's Penis: There's no wrong way to eat a penis.
The Beavis Penis: Look! It's changing color!
The Butthead Penis: Two and a half inches of terror.
The Life Savers Penis: Five fruity flavors.
The Star Wars Penis: Use the force, Luke!
The Invasion of the Body Snatchers Penis: "They're here already! You're next...YOU'RE NEXT!
The War of the Worlds Penis: "The time came when the Martians looked upon out penis with envious eyes, and slowly but surely turned their plans against us."
The Windows '95 Penis: If you ask it to do too much, it'll crash.
The Kenny Rogers Penis: Very, very hairy.
The Rush Limbaugh Penis: Bald and fat.
The Howard Stern Penis: Small.
The Janet Jackson Penis: What have you done for me lately?
The Milli Vanilli Penis: It's really someone else's penis.
The Health Services Penis: It's not here right now, but here's some Sudafed.
The Chevy Truck Penis: Like a rock!
The Mazda Penis: It just feels right.
The Ford Penis: Built Ford tough.
The Butterfinger Penis: Nobody better lay a finger on my penis!
The Eggo Penis: Leggo my penis!
The Skittles Penis: Taste the penis.
The Bic Lighter Penis: Go ahead, flic my penis.