Ever notice how often we have to search for hidden messages within what others say to us? Well, we could sit back and continue to try to figure everything out, or we can look at some of the classic rejection lines, already encoded.
10. I think of you as a
brother.
(You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance.")
9. There's a slight difference
in our ages.
(I don't want to do my dad.)
8. I'm not attracted to you in
'that' way.
(You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes upon.)
7. My life is too
complicated right now.
(I don't want you spending the whole night or else you might
hear all the phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.)
6. I have a
boyfriend.
(I prefer my male cat and a gallon of Ben and Jerry's.)
5. I don't date men where I
work.
(I wouldn't date you if you were in the same solar system, much less the same
building.)
4. It's not you, it's
me.
(It's you.)
3. I'm concentrating on my
career.
(Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating
you.)
2. I'm
celibate.
(I've sworn off men like you.)
1. Let's be
friends.
(I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the
other men I meet and have sex with. It's that male perspective thing.)
10. I think of you as a
sister.
(You're ugly.)
9. There's a slight difference
in our ages.
(You're ugly.)
8. I'm not attracted to you in
'that' way.
(You're ugly.)
7. My life is too
complicated right now.
(You're ugly.)
6. I have a
girlfriend.
(You're ugly.)
5. I don't date women where
I work.
(You're ugly.)
4. It's not you, it's
me.
(You're ugly.)
3. I'm concentrating on my
career.
(You're ugly.)
2. I'm
celibate.
(You're ugly.)
1. Let's be
friends.
(You're sinfully ugly.)
(Submitted by Angela, Chicago, IL, June 1997)
(Hey, baby, you see something
you like?)
Yes I do, baby. But you're in my way. Can you move, please?
Man: Haven't we met before?
Woman: Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.
Man: So, wanna go back to my place?
Woman:Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.
Man: I'd like to call you. What's your number?
Woman: It's in the phone book.
Man: But I don't know your name.
Woman:That's in the phone book too.
Man: So what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: What sign were you born under?
Woman: No parking.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized!
Man: Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason.
Woman: Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks.
Man: I know how to please a woman.
Woman: Then please leave me alone.
Man: I want to give myself to you.
Woman: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.
Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman: Ohhhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?
Woman: Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I'd go through anything for you.
Woman:Good! Let's start with your bank account.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: Yes, but would you stay there?