COLIN POWELL VIRUS
Makes its presence known, but doesn't do anything. Secretly, you wish it would.

HILLARY CLINTON VIRUS
Files disappear, only to reappear mysteriously a year later, in another directory.

O.J. SIMPSON VIRUS
You know it's guilty of trashing your system, but you just can't prove it.

BOB DOLE VIRUS
Could be virulent, but it's been around too long to be much of a threat.

OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS
Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands back to 250MB

PAUL REVERE VIRUS
This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack: Once, if by LAN; twice if by C:

POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS
Never identifies itself as a "virus," but instead refers to itself as an "electronic micro-organism".

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS
Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.

DAN QUAYLE VIRUS
Their is sumthing rong with yor komputer, but ewe cant figyour outt watt!

FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS
Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer.

TEXAS VIRUS
Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.

ADAM AND EVE VIRUS
Takes a couple bytes out of your Apple.

AIRLINE LUGGAGE VIRUS
You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.

FREUDIAN VIRUS
Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own mother board.

STAR TREK VIRUS
Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.

HEALTH CARE VIRUS
Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends you a bill for $4,500.