Strange Facts

FACT: A dog licks its balls because it can.
FACT: Marriage is the leading cause for divorce.
FACT: Poverty SUCKS
FACT: Testicles...Nature's way of telling your wife or girlfriend "Place your hand here !"
FACT:You can't catch a fish that won't bite
FACT: Karen Carpenter's last words were "I still don't think you can be to rich !
FACT: Fat people use more soap
FACT: He who laughs last....Thinks slowest!
FACT: Friends help you move.....Real friends help you move bodies
FACT: The more you run over a dead cat, The flatter it gets.
FACT: It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown, and fewer still to ignore someone completely.
FACT: When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
FACT: Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
FACT: If you want your spouse to listen, talk in your sleep.
FACT: If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
FACT: A day without sunshine is like.......NIGHT
FACT: I still miss my ex-wife. But my aim is getting better!
FACT: If women can have PMS, then men can have NFL.
FACT: A FOOL AND HIS MONEY can throw one heck of a party.
FACT: When blondes have more fun, do they know it?
FACT: In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
FACT: As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get in touch with my Inner Sociopath.
FACT: Joan of Arc heard voices too.
FACT: I will find humor in my everyday life by looking for people I can laugh at.
FACT: Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary!
FACT: Folks who think they know it all bug those of us who do.
FACT: It is easy to start a fire with two sticks when one is a match.
FACT: Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
FACT: Never use a hatchet to remove a fly from a friends forehead....
FACT: Marriage is a three ring circus, Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, and Suffer-RING.
FACT: Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number.
FACT: Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money.
FACT: Once, I wept for I had no shoes. Then I came upon a man who had no feet. So I took his shoes. I mean, it's not like he really needed them, right?
FACT: When I go to heaven, I want to see my grandpa again. But he better have lost the nose hair and the old-man smell.
FACT: Whenever I start getting sad about where I am in my life, I think about the last words of my favorite uncle: "A truck!"
FACT: I once heard the voice of God. It said "Vrrrrmmmmm." Unless it was just a lawn mower.
FACT: Always take time to stop and smell the roses... and sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee.
FACT: When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
FACT: It's always darkest before dawn. So if you steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's when to do it.
FACT: The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
FACT: Money can't buy happiness...But it sure makes misery easier to live with..
FACT: It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
FACT: I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
FACT: The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
FACT: Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
FACT: A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
FACT: Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
FACT: I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
FACT: Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
FACT: If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
FACT:If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
FACT:If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
FACT:How do they get a deer to cross at the yellow sign in the road?
FACT:Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

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