Never trust a dog to watch your food.
  - Patrick, age 10

When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him.
  - Michael, 14

Never tell your mom her diet's not working.
  - Michael,14

Stay away from prunes.
  - Randy, 9

Don't squat with your spurs on.
  - Noronha, 13

Don't pull dad's finger when he tells you to.
  - Emily, 10

When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
  - Taylia, 11

Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment.
  - Traci, 14

Don't sneeze in front of mom when you're eating crackers.
  - Mitchell, 12

Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.
  - Andrew, 9

Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.
  - Kyoyo, 9

You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
  - Armir, 9

Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
  -Kellie, 11

If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.
  - Naomi, 15

Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick.
  - Lauren, 9

Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat.
  - Joel, 10

When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone.
  - Alyesha, 13

Never try to baptize a cat.
  - Eileen, 8