At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with
technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving
twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."
In
response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be
driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason
whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they
repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
3.
Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would
just accept this, restart and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a
maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to
restart, in which case you would have to re-install the engine.
5.
Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought 'Car95' or
"CarNT". But, then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh
would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as
fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the
roads.
7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights
would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.
8.
New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9. The
airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.
10.
Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse
to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the
key, and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all
car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM
subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to
delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish
by 50 percent or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation
by the Justice Dept.
12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car
buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the
controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13. You'd
press the "start" button to shut off the engine
[Mother Shiptons Prophecy] [Poetry]
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