For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light,
but recent information has proved otherwise.  Electric bulbs don't
emit light; they suck dark.  Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Suckers.

The Dark Sucker Theory and the existence of dark suckers prove
that dark has mass and is heavier than light.

First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs
suck dark.  For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room you are in.
There is much less dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The
larger the Dark Sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark.  Dark
Suckers in the parking lot have a much greater capacity to suck dark
than the ones in this room.

So with all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever.  Once they
are full of dark, they can no longer suck - just like a vacuum
cleaner does if you forget to change the bag.  This is proven by the
dark spot on a full Dark Sucker.  Then the Dark Sucker quits working

A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker.  A new candle has a white
wick.  You can see that after the first use, the wick turns black,
representing all the dark that has been sucked into it.  If you put a
pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, it will turn black.
This is because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the
candle.  One of the disadvantages of these primitive Dark Suckers is
their limited range.

There are also portable Dark Suckers.  In these, the bulbs can't
handle all the dark by themselves and must be aided by a Dark Storage
Unit.  When the Dark Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied
or replaced before the portable Dark Sucker can operate again.

Dark has mass.  When dark goes into a Dark Sucker, friction from
the mass generates heat.  Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating
Dark Sucker. Candles present a special problem as the mass must
travel into a solid wick instead of through clear glass.  This
generates a great amount of heat and therefore it's not wise to touch
an operating candle.

Also, dark is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below
the surface of the lake, you would see a lot of light.  If you were
to slowly swim deeper and deeper, you would notice it getting darker
and darker. When you get really deep, you would be in total darkness.
This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and
the lighter light floats at the top. The is why it is called light.

Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light.  If you
were to stand in a lit room in front of a closed, dark closet, and
slowly opened the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter
the closet.  But since dark is so fast, you would not be able to see
the dark leave the closet.

So next time you see an electric bulb, remember: It's really a
Dark Sucker!



*************************************
"The country clubs, the cars the boats,
Your assets may be ample,
But the best inheritance
You can leave your kids
Is to be a good example."
- Barry Spilchuk
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