Stupid Award of the Day:
Ian works in a coffee, bagels, and sandwiches
trailer on the
campus of the University of New Hampshire. Vinnie is
his
boss and the owner of the truck, and yes, this actually
happened.
Ian is telling the story:
This declaration of the stupid award goes to
a customer today.
Below is a close rendition of the conversation with
her.
--------------------
Lady: Yes, I'd like a milk with some
coffee in it.
Ian: So, that's just a splash of coffee in a
milk?
Lady: No, a regular amount of milk, but not
coffee.
Ian: Is there more milk or coffee?
Lady: Oh,
definitely more coffee.
Ian: So, that's a coffee with some extra
milk.
Lady: Just the usual amount of milk.
Ian: A coffee with
milk.
Lady: Yes.
Ian: Anything else?
Lady: A little extra
milk, and do you have coffee with no caffeine?
Ian: We do have
decaf.
Lady: No, I don't want decaf, just some coffee without the
caffeine.
Ian: Ma'am, that's what decaf means, no
caffeine.
Lady: Oh, then do you have milk with no
caffeine?
Ian: Milk doesn't come with caffeine.
Lady: Yes it
does.
Ian: Not that I know of, where do you get your
milk?
Lady: It doesn't say caffeine-free on the milk, so it must have
caffeine.
Ian: Oh, you're right, my mistake. I forgot that we only
get the decaf milk. No problem, we have only decaf milk. Anything
else?
Lady: Do you have any bagels?
Vinnie: (who has been
listening all along) I'm sorry, ma'am, we're all out of decaf
bagels.
Lady: Oh, well, then I'll have one of those, with sesame
seeds.
Vinnie: We're all out, ma'am.
Lady: Well, what are those?
(pointing at sesame bagels)
Vinnie: Those are sesame donuts with extra
caffeine added.
Lady: I guess I'll just have the coffee. Do you take
credit cards?
Ian: No ma'am, cash only.
Lady: What about
Visa?
Ian: Is that a credit card?
Lady: Well, yes.
Vinnie: Is it
cash?
Lady: No.
Vinnie: Then no, we can't take it.
Lady:
What about checks?
Ian: Cash ma'am, nothing else.
Lady: Ok. how
much is that?
Vinnie: Eleven dollars and 45 cents. (insert: for a cup of
coffee, if you missed that.)
Lady: Really?
Vinnie: New war in
Alaska is ruining the coffee business, plus you wanted the coffee with
no caffeine, that's hard to find now, had to grow it
myself.
Lady: Ok. (proceeds to write a check)
Vinnie: Please
leave.
Lady: Why?
Vinnie: You're raising my blood pressure, leave
now.
Lady: But what about my coffee?
Vinnie: Leave and never
return.
She leaves, but pays the $11.45
first.
********************************
"Art washes away from the
soul the dust of everyday life."
- Pablo
Picasso
********************************
[Mother Shiptons Prophecy] [Poetry]
[Guest-Sign] [Guest-View] [Email]