Phone conversations are over in 30 sec. flat!
~~~
A five day
vacation requires only one suitcase.
~~~
MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL!
~~~
Bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
~~~
We can open all our own
jars.
~~~
Old friends don't give a flip whether we've lost or gained
weight.
~~~
When clicking through the channels, we don't have to stop
at every shot of someone crying.
~~~
Our butt is never a factor when
it comes to job interveiws.
~~~
A beer gut dosen't make us invisible
to the opposite sex.
~~~
We understand why the movie 'STRIPES' is
funny!
~~~
We don't need a support group to go to the bathroom.
~~~
The garage is all ours!
~~~
We get extra credit for the
slightest little act of thoughtfulness.
~~~
We can be showered and
ready to go in 10 min.
~~~
The National College Cheerleading
Championships!
~~~
None of our coworkers have the power to make us
cry.
~~~
We can write our name in the snow!
~~~
Flowers fix
everything.
~~~
We can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's
seat.
~~~
We get to think about sex 90% of our waking hours!
~~~
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough for us!
~~~
We
can say anything ("Man does my crotch itch or what?")and not worry about what
people think.
~~~
Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when we enter
a room!
~~~
Car mechanics tell us the truth.
~~~
We don't give
a rats rear if nobody notices our new hair cut.
~~~
We can quietly
watch the game with our buddy for hours without thinking, "He must be mad at
me."
~~~
Hot wax never comes near our pubic area!
~~~
ONE MOOD,
ALL THE TIME!
~~~
We know at least 20 different ways to open a beer
bottle.
~~~
We can sit with our knees apart no matter what we're
wearing.
~~~
Grey hair and wrinkles only adds character.
~~~
We
don't have to leave the room just to make an emergency crotch
adjustment.
~~~
When we retain water, it's in a canteen!
~~~
The
remote control is ours and ours alone! *grrr*
~~~
If I don't call my
buddy when I say I will, he won't tell our other friends I've
changed.
~~~
Someday we'll be dirty old men!
~~~
If another guy
shows up to the party in the same shirt, we just might become life long
friends.
~~~
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically
expected!
~~~
We think the idea of PUNTING A SMALL DOG is
funny!
~~~
We don't have to remember everyones birthdays and
anniversaries.
~~~
"BAYWATCH!"
[Mother Shiptons Prophecy] [Poetry]
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