(Written by Shelly Berman and appears in his book, "A Hotel Is A Place..." which was published in the mid-1970's.)
Be warned, you're going to find yourself talking "funny" for a while after
reading this. It was nominated "best email of 1997". A telephonic exchange
between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia, which was
recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review.....
Room
Service: "Morny. Ruin sorbees"
Guest: "Sorry, I thought I dialed
room-service"
Room Service: "Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish
to oder sunteen??"
Guest: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and
eggs"
RS: "Ow July den?"
G: "What??"
RS: "Ow
July den?...pry,boy,pooch?"
G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like
them? Sorry, scrambled please."
RS: "Ow July dee
bayhcem...crease?"
G: "Crisp will be fine"
RS: "Hokay.
An San tos?"
G: "What?"
RS: "San tos. July San
tos?"
G: "I don't think so"
RS: "No? Judo one
toes??"
G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what
'judo one toes' means."
RS: "Toes! toes!...why djew Don Juan toes? Ow
bow singlish mopping we bother?"
G: "English muffin!! I've got
it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be
fine."
RS:"We bother?"
G: "No..just put the bother on
the side."
RS: "Wad?"
G: "I mean butter...just put it
on the side."
RS: "Copy?"
G: "Sorry?"
RS:
"Copy...tea...mill?"
G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's
all."
RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease
baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and
copy....rye??"