A Little Laughter...goes a long way

Best Rum Cake Ever


1 or 2 quarts of Rum      1 cup butter
1 tsp sugar               2 large eggs
1 cup dried fruit           baking soda
brown sugar                 nuts (optional)

Before you start, check the rum for quality. Good isn't it? Now go ahead. Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc. Check the rum again. It must be right. To be sure the rum is of the highest quality, pour one level cup into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat. 

With an electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of thugar and beat again.  Meanwhile, make sure the rum os of the finest quality...try another cup. Open the second quart if necessary. 

Add 2 arge leggs, 2 cups fried druit and beat till high. If druit gets stuck in the beaters, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample athe rum again, checking for tonscisticity.

Next sift 3 cups of pepper and salt, (it really doesn't matter). Sample the rum again. Sift 1/2 pint of lemon juice. Fold in chopped butter and add strained nuts. Add 1 babblespoon of brown thugar or whatever color you can find. Wix mell.

Grease ovem and turn cake pan to 350 gredees. Now pour the whole mess into the boven and ake. Check the rum again and go to bed.


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"You can't expect to hit the
jackpot if you don't put a
few nickels in the machine."
- Flip Wilson
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