The following ONELNR.TXT could be applicable to all of us. Watch for these messags appearing on a screen in your cyberhood soon!


Cannot find REALITY.SYS  Universe halted.

COFFEE.EXE missing - insert cup and press any key.

Buy a Pentium 586/130Mhz so you can reboot faster.

2+2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

Computers are not intelligent, they only think they are.

My software never has bugs. It just developes random features.

C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL

C:\DOS   C:\DOS\RUN   RUN\DOS\RUN

<-------------THE INFORMATION WENT DATA WAY-----------

Best file compression around:  "DEL *.*" = 100% compression.

Definition of an Upgrade:  taking the old bugs out to put new ones in.

BREAKFAST.COM halted. . . cereal port not responding!

BUFFERS=20  FILES=15  2ND DOWN, 4TH QUARTER, 5 YARDS TO GO!

Access denied --- nah na nah na nah na!

C:\ bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.

Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay!

Why doesn't DOS ever say, "EXCELLENT command or filename!"

As a compurter, I find your faith in technology amusing.

DOS (down south):  Y'all reckon?  (yep/nope)?

Backups? Backups? We don' *NEED* no steenking backups!

E Pluribus Modem.

. . . file not found. Should I fake it?  (Y/N)?

Ethernet  (n):  ...something used to catch the etherbunny.

Mainframe:  the biggest PC peripheral available.

An error?  Impossible! My modem is error correcting!

CONGRESS.SYS corrupted:  Re-boot Washington D.C. (Y/N)?

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

A computer's attention span is as long as its power cord.

Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.

Windows 95:  Just another pane in the glass.

SENILE.COM found. . . out of memory. . .

RAM disk is NOT an installation procedure!

All computers wait at the same speed.

Computer (n): device to speed and automate errors.

Press
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue....

Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.....

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!

E-mail returned to sender --- insufficient voltage.

Help!  I've modemed. . . and I can't hang up!!!

All wiyht.  Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?

Error:  Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.

DOS tip #17:  Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to your CONFIG.SYS file.

Hidden DOS secret:  Add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS FILE.

PRESS ANY KEY TO CONTINUE OR ANY OTHER KEY TO QUIT...

Press any key... no, no, no, NO NOT THAT ONE!!!

REALITY.SYS corrupted:  Reboot universe? (Y/N/Q)?

Best quotation ever: "640K ought to be enough for anybody!"  - Bill Gates, 1981

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