A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The
tech asked her if she was "running it under Windows." The woman then
responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The
man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his is working
fine."
***************
Tech Support: "How much free space do
you have on your hard drive?"
Customer: "Well, my wife likes to get up
there on that Internet,and she downloaded ten hours of free space. Is that
enough?"
***************
Tech Support: "Ok Bob, let's press the
control and escape keys at the same time.That brings up a task list in the
middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program
Manager."
Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
Tech Support: "On
your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech
Support: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "I'm not going to do
that!"
***************
Overheard in a computer
shop:
Customer: "I'd like a mouse mat, please."
Salesperson:
"Certainly sir, we've got a large variety."
Customer: "But will they
be compatible with my computer?"
***************
I once
received a fax with a note on the bottom to fax the document back to the
sender when I was finished with it, because he needed to keep
it.
***************
Customer: "Can you copy the Internet for me
on this diskette?"
***************
I work for a local ISP.
Frequently we receive phone calls that go something like
this:
Customer: "Hi. Is this the
Internet?"
***************
Some people pay for their online
services with checks made payable to "The
Internet."
***************
Customer: "So that'll get me
connected to the Internet, right?"
Tech Support:
"Yeah."
Customer: "And that's the latest version of the Internet,
right?"
Tech Support:
"Uhh...uh...uh...yeah."
***************
Tech Support: "All
right...now double-click on the File Manager icon."
Customer: "That's
why I hate this Windows because of the icons. I'm a Protestant, and I don't
believe in icons."
Tech Support: "Well, that's just an industry term
sir. I don't believe it was meant to"
Customer: "I don't care about
any 'Industry Terms'. I don't believe in icons."
Tech Support:
"Well...why don't you click on the 'little picture' of a file cabinet...is
'little picture' ok?"
Customer:
[click]
***************
Customer: "My computer
crashed!"
Tech Support: "It crashed?"
Customer: "Yeah, it won't
let me play my game."
Tech Support: "All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete
to reboot."
Customer: "No, it didn't crash it crashed."
Tech
Support: "Huh?"
Customer: "I crashed my game. That's what I said
before. Now it doesn't work."
Turned out, the user was playing Lunar
Lander and crashed his spaceship.
Tech Support: "Click on 'File,' then
'New Game.'"
Customer: [pause] "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?"
[Mother Shiptons Prophecy] [Poetry]
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