A baby usually wakes up in the wee-wee hours of the morning.
A child
will not spill on a dirty floor.
A young child is a noise with dirt on
it.
A youth becomes a man when the marks he wants to leave on the
world have nothing to do with tires.
An unbreakable toy is useful for
breaking other toys.
Avenge yourself; live long enough to be a problem
to your children.
Be nice to your kids, for it is they who will choose
your nursing home.
Celibacy is not hereditary.
Familiarity
breeds children.
For adult education, nothing beats
children.
God invented mothers because he couldn't be everywhere at
once.
God invented guilt so mothers could be everywhere at
once.
Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your
brain.
Having children will turn you into your parents.
If a
child looks like his father, that's heredity; if he looks like a neighbor,
that's environment.
If you have trouble getting your children's
attention, just sit down and look comfortable.
Ill-bred children
always display their pest manners.
Insanity is inherited; you get it
from your kids.
It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to
educate his father.
It rarely occurs to teenagers that the day will
come when they'll know as little as their parents.
Money isn't
everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
Never lend your car
to anyone to whom you have given birth.
One child is often not enough,
but two children can be far too many.
You can learn many things from
children... like how much patience you have.
Summer vacation is a time
when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid.
The first
sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the
left.
There are three ways to get things done:
1) do it
yourself
2) hire someone to do it
3) forbid your kids to do
it
There would be fewer problems with children if they had to chop
wood to keep the television set going.
Those who say they "sleep like
a baby" haven't got one.
The best thing to spend on your children is
time.
[Mother Shiptons Prophecy] [Poetry]
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