These are alledged to be some actual maintenance complaints submitted by
US
Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance
crews:
Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs
replacement."
Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main
tire."
Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very
rough."
Solution: "Autoland not installed on this
aircraft."
Problem #1: "#2 Propeller seeping prop
fluid."
Solution #1: "#2 Propeller seepage normal."
Problem #2:
"#1, #3, and #4 propellers lack normal
seepage."
Problem: "The autopilot
doesn't."
Signed off: "IT DOES NOW."
Problem: "Something
loose in cockpit."
Solution: "Something tightened in
cockpit."
Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main
landing gear."
Solution: "Evidence removed."
Problem: "DME
volume unbelievably loud."
Solution: "Volume set to more believable
level."
Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield."
Solution: "Live
bugs on order."
Problem: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode
produces a 200 fpm descent."
Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on
ground."
Problem: "IFF inoperative."
Solution: "IFF always
inoperative in OFF mode."
Problem: "Friction locks cause
throttle levers to stick."
Solution: "That's what they're there
for."
Problem: "Number three engine missing."
Solution:
"Engine found on right wing after brief search."
[Mother Shiptons Prophecy] [Poetry]
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