Reintarnation:
Coming back to life as a
hillbilly.
Foreploy:
Any misrepresentation about yourself for the
purpose of obtaining sex.
Giraffiti:
Vandalism spray-painted very,
very high.
Tatyr:
A lecherous Mr. Potato
Head.
Sarchasm:
The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and
the recipient who doesn't get it.
Inoculatte:
To take coffee
intravenously when you are running late.
Hipatitis:
Terminal
coolness.
Osteopornosis:
A degenerate
disease.
Burglesque:
A poorly planned
break-in.
Karmageddon:
It's like, when everybody is sending off all
these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and
it's like a serious bummer.
Glibido:
All talk and no
action.
Dopeler effect:
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem
smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Intaxication:
Euphoria at
getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your
money to start with.
Carcinoma:
A valley in California, notable for
its heavy smog.
Esplanade:
To attempt an explanation while
drunk.
Willy-nilly:
Impotent.
Flabbergasted:
Appalled
over how much weight you have gained.
Negligent:
Describes a
condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your
nightie.
Abdicate:
To give up all hope of ever having a flat
stomach.
Lymph:
To walk with a lisp.
Gargoyle:
An
olive-oil flavored mouthwash.
Bustard:
A very rude Metrobus
driver.
Coffee:
A person who is coughed
upon.
Flatulence:
The emergency vehicle that picks you up after you
are run over by a steamroller.
Balderdash:
A rapidly receding
hairline.
Semantics:
Pranks conducted by young men studying for the
priesthood, including such things as gluing the pages of the priest's prayer
book together just before vespers.
Rectitude:
The formal, dignified
demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines
you.
Oyster:
A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish
expressions.
[Mother Shiptons Prophecy] [Poetry]
[Guest-Sign] [Guest-View] [Email]