The Bitch License


Respond to this senario:
You are in a restaurant and the waiter does not bring the correct order. Do you:

  1. Shrug it off; eat what you have.
  2. Ask him to take it back and fix it.
  3. Jump on the table and rant about how nothing is ever done right anymore in this country and the whole place is moving to savagery and barbarism because of it.
  4. Pull an automatic weapon and kill everyone in the place.

Complete the thought:
Water is to people as bitching is to______________.

  1. People
  2. A condiment
  3. Life
  4. Sliced peaches
  5. Sex
  6. Large guns
  7. Car tires
  8. Unnecessary
  9. A commodity
  10. Dogs
  11. Food
  12. Fuel pump

If you choose L, explain your answer below, please.

What is the proper proceedure for renewing this license?

  1. It has to be renewed? Oh, well, you guys do that, right?
  2. Email and ask politely.
  3. Send a 50k email describing how you shouldn't have to renew it, you bitch better now than ever before, and it's things like this that are giving you high blood pressure and heath problems.
  4. Hunt us down with a bludgeoning weapon and beat us until we are nothing more than a stain on the memory of humanity. Renew that, bitch.

Define below:
What special areas do you have in bitching? What would you like to specialize in for this license?

  1. Computers and electronics
  2. Automotives (including traffic lights)
  3. People
  4. Inanimae objects
  5. Other (list below)

Free response:

  1. It takes 2 to 6 weeks to process these applications. Describe your feelings on this.
  2. Describe your life.
  3. How much can you say on one breath? What's the longest you've ever bitched consecutively?
  4. Why should we put up with your bitching?
  5. Describe how much bigger your dick/breasts should be but isn't/aren't.
  6. Describe how much more sex you should be getting.