Sally: Well gosh, darlin', it's been a dog's age! What has it been, seven years? I haven't seen ya since college! We've got a lot of catchin' up to do! You remember me, don't you? You were the one who punched me in the mess hall in our senior year! Yes, that was me! Well, gosh, we've got a lot of catchin' up to do! Remember how I won that award: "Most Likely To Never Move Out Of Their Parents' Basements"? Well guess what! I never did!
Well, gosh! You know what? I live here now! Nope, this isn't your house anymore, know why? You've been evicted! Oww! Oh, gosh, , you always were such a kidder! I'm just pulling your leg you know, ha ha ha--Oww!!

Lily: You'll have to excuse Sally. You aren't the first she's tried to pull that one on. She just goes door to door, greeting her old college buddies and telling them they've been evicted. She's actually an Avon lady from Chicago. She bothers everyone. Just look at this list of names.

• Judy Birkenstock
• Oprah Winfrey
• Annie Smith
• Maddy Kingston
• Howard Johnson
• Jelly Sanders
• Abraham Lincoln
• Robert Baroz
• Dolly Dalmation
• Sally Struthers
• Amanda Falf
• Rocky Adams
• Anna Banana
• Fran Pan
• Françoise Cottonswab
• Goldy Retriever
• Pat Hat
• Joey Kanfer
• Andromeda Cassandra Hutchence
• Finn Razylle
• Gimpy the Melon Man

If you feel you have been violated by having Sally Seals, the single most annoying person on the face of the planet, talk to you, enter your name on the form below. Your name will be placed on the above list. This list is a petition that will be sent to the president, demanding that Sally Seals be sent to the moon.

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