Labyrinth is definitely one of those movies we hate to love. It's such a sickeningly perfect example of the '80's fantasy flick we keep getting drawn back to. It stars David Bowie and Jennifer Connelly. Jennifer Connelly plays a sad teenager who likes to perform plays for owls (watch out, it's David Bowie in disguise!)in the park and hates babysitting her little brother. She combines these two activities one fateful night, and bad things happen. (like mixing drugs and alcohol.) The goblins happened to be hiding in her closet (this is why parents tell their children to clean their rooms) and when Jennifer wishes the goblins would take her brother away, they do.
Enter David Bowie. He shows up and tries to mesmerize Jennifer with his crystal juggling abilities--actually, he does this throughout the entire movie. She never buys it. So he lets her wander about in his little maze for a while. David wears very tight pants in the movie. These pants quite possibly could be the most important feature of the movie, as they draw away from the fact that David Bowie has no acting ability whatsoever. He plays a surly, withdrawn goblin king, which is odd, because he isn't a goblin. Fortunately he isn't so surly that he doesn't kick up his heels and sing a snappy tune every five minutes! This gives him several oppurtunities to show off his singing ability and whatever it is that's going on in his pants [see photo below.] Perhaps I have exaggerated the plot a bit; the entire movie basically consists of switching camera views between Jennifer saying "It's not fair!" and David Bowie's pants.
And, oh yeah, Before you decide to rent the movie, remember that there are lines as dumb as these.
This ranks up there with Titanic's "A woman's heart is a ocean of secrets."