The Old Man

William! William, boy, bring me my tea! . . . No, don't put that in it you crazed adolescent! Milk and sugar you fool! . . . William, are you bringing me my tea, or are you watching the electric television? . . . I told you to get off the phone, William! Are you talking to another lusty maiden? . . . William! William, there's a draft! Bring me my shawl! William, are you listening to me? William, bring me a cigar. . . . Not allowed one am I? . . . Well then bring me some candy, I've always been partial to licorice . . . William, I need my teeth, William! William . . . bring me my ointment . . . The tea, William, the tea! William, you must send this by pony express immediately, William! . . . No, William! That's an heirloom! Put me down, you insolent boy! . . . Muffins, pretty Muffins, there a good kitty . . . my word, William, what have you done to Muffins? Speak to me, Muffins! . . . William, are you still there? Willi-a-a-a-a-am! I'm sorry! . . . Come back, William! . . . William, I order you to come to me at once! . . . William, I need my pills! . . . William! . . . I don't feel well, William! . . . Is it lunch time already? Very well then, William, I will have a bowl of prunes and some warm buttermilk. And when are you going to bring me my tea? . . . For the last time, William! . . . William, where is your mother? I must speak to her at once! . . . Where is my cane, William? I shall be going out for the evening . . . William, bring me the salve! . . . William, have you been peckish during the night? Someone's been at my licorice . . . William, go out and fetch me a switch, you wretchid boy! . . . Bring me some chewing gum, William . . . I say, William my boy, look how tall you've grown! Bring me a cigar, there's a good lad . . .