Libzie
Originally Written: January 25, 1999
Posted: February 16, 1999

BEAUTIFUL.

What does that mean to you?
Is it some far away abstract quality defining supermodels and movie stars?
Is it something implying perfection of societal standards?

As a woman,
I never identified with this word.
I always thought of it as something I was supposed to be,
but something I would never actually think of myself as.
And this is why it is WRONG.

You see, gentle readers, today I became defined as beautiful.
Not by society, not by the dictionary,
by MYSELF.

The feeling is amazing. The knowledge even more so.
I AM BEAUTIFUL.
Why did it take me 25 years to figure that out?
Why was I always comparing myself to everyone else, magnifying my flaws?
Why was I always wanting to be someone else on the outside?

Precisely this: I never bothered looking at myself. I would compare myself, berate myself, criticize myself,
look for spots to hide in the mirror every day.
But look at myself? No I did not.
I never saw myself as something others could not be.
I never fully appreciated what I had.
I never even noticed who I was, instead focusing on who I wanted to be.

Here's a message for all the women out there that are also trodding in my old shoes, unseeing:
Time to give it up. Time to stop comparing.
Time to stop destroying yourselves in the mirror every day.
Just look, without comparing. Look at who you are.
Chances are, if your inside is free, you are beautiful! Free yourself from the outside!
Be yourself!

Your height or shortness, your breasts or flatness, your period or lack of one,
Your body, its curves and its angles,
NONE of these things should define us in any way
Celebrate who you are! Celebrate yourself for everything you have!
You are ALIVE. Do you know what that means?
Every cell in your body hugs you, holding in your soul.
It is now time to hug back.
Accept every cell that shapes you.
It is part of you.
It IS beautiful.