In an attempt to start teaching some of you what good roleplaying and bad roleplaying is we are posting this list. We found it on the net and altered it to fit the board. We're hoping that we can cut down on the number of munchkins "power players" in the chats; because it really irratates the members that know how to effectively roleplay. Here are a couple of pointers to clue you in as to what kind of player you may be....

Basic Player Types

The Real Man:

The tough macho type who walks up to the attacking dragon and tells him to leave before he gets hurt.

The Real Roleplayer:

The intelligent cunning guy who tricks the constable into letting you all out of prison.

The Loonie:

The guy who will do anything for a cheap laugh, including casting a fireball at ground zero or starting a fight with a draconian armed only with a roll of plastic wrap.

The Munchkin:

The newbie or bad roleplayer who can never ever be out done...even when he already is.

PLAYER RELATIONSHIPS:

REAL MEN:

Real Men think Real Men are brothers in arms.
Real Roleplayers hide behind them.
Loonies harass them with stupid suggestions.
Munchkins say "I'm a Real Man, too!"

REAL ROLEPLAYERS:

Real Men protect Real Roleplayers, on the off chance they may come up with something useful.
Real Roleplayers sigh with relief to know they're not alone, and then get their characters involved in love affairs and death feuds.
Loonies harass them with stupid suggestions.
Munchkins say "I'm a Real Roleplayer, too!"

LOONIES:

Real Men ignore Loonies.
Real Roleplayers sometimes harass them back by taking a stupid suggestion and making it work.
Loonies declare a pie fight at 20 paces ... and cheat.
Munchkins try to imitate the jokes, and fall flat.

MUNCHKINS:

Real Men attack Munchkins on sight.
Real Roleplayers trick them into being cannon fodder.
Loonies make reasonable-sounding suggestions that will get the Munchkin killed in an amusing way.
Munchkins query, "What's a Munchkin?"

Favorite Dungeon Activity:

 Real Men fight Red Dragons.
Real Roleplayers bluff the Ogres.
Loonies tell dirty jokes to Green Slime.
Munchkins do whatever gives the most experience/rip each other off.

Favorite Melee Weapon:

 Real Men use Broadswords/Bastard Swords/Pole Axes and Short Swords.
Real Roleplayers use Rapiers Short Swords, and Main-Gauches.
Loonies use Stage Knives and plastic spoons.
Munchkins use whatever gives the most plusses or kills the enemy in one shot.

Favorite Thrown Weapon:

 Real Men throw Spears/Javelins.
Real Roleplayers throw Bolas.
Loonies throw nerf footballs, newts, toilet paper, and socks.
Munchkins throw whatever gives the most plusses or kills the enemy in one shot.

Favorite Missile Weapon:

 Real Men shoot Long Bows/Composite Bows.
Real Roleplayers shoot Crossbows.
Loonies shoot Catapults, sling shots, spit wads, and toads.
Munchkins shoot whatever gives the most plusses or kills the enemy in one shot.

Favorite Improvised Weapon in Barroom Brawl:

 Real Men use bare hands/tables.
Real Roleplayers use chairs, chair legs or pokers.
Loonies use plastic Pepsi bottles, Coke cans, or toothpaste.
Munchkins use, you guessed it whatever gives the most plusses or kills the enemy in one shot.

Favorite Improvised Thrown Weapons:

 Real Men throw Munchkins. (can you blame them?)
Real Roleplayers throw beer mugs, pool balls and rocks.
Loonies throw Nerf frisbees, tissues, and sugar cones.
Munchkins are too busy running from the Real Men.

Favorite Human/Non-Human PC:

 Real Men play Humans, Barbarians, and Human-elf crosses.
Real Roleplayers play Mages, Elves, Humans, and Seers.
Loonies play Kenders, Humans, and Gully Dwarfs.
Munchkins play whatever gives the most plusses/Demi-gods or kills an enemy in one shot.

Favorite Way of Extracting Information from a Goblin:

 Real Men torture them.
Real Roleplayers cast LegendLore/Telepathy/Mind Read or hypnotize them.
Loonies tell them puns.
Munchkins kill them and ask the mun what they knew.

Favorite Armor:

 Real Men wear Plate Mail.
Real Roleplayers wear Elven Chainmail.
Loonies wear Horse Barding.
Munchkins wear powered mechanized armor.

Favorite Helm:

 Real Men wear a Helm of Brilliance.
Real Roleplayers wear a Helm of Telepathy.
Loonies wear a Helm of Blindness.
Munchkins wear a Helm of 360-Degree Vision with Force Field.

Favorite Shield:

 Real Men don't use shields (can't wield a two-handed weapon)
Real Roleplayers use a Kite Shield.
Loonies use a panty shield.
Munchkins don't get the previous joke/use a Shield of Invincibility.

Favorite Mount:

 Real Men ride heavy war horses.
Real Roleplayers ride Thoroughbreds.
Loonies ride sheep and Iguanas.
Munchkins ride heavy war tyrannosauri.

Favorite Animal to use as a NPC:

 Real Men have Dogs and Farm Stock.
Real Roleplayers have Ravens and Black Cats.
Loonies have Slugs and Horseradishes.
Munchkins have whatever kills things in one hit (ie. Red Dragons)

What they do when they encounter a sleeping dragon:

 Real Men wake it up and THEN attack it.
Real Roleplayers sneak away quietly.
Loonies tie its shoelaces together and put tooth paste in their ears.
Munchkins backstab it with their Sword of Slay Anything, and then put all its treasure in one backpack and run away.

Favorite Town Activity:

 Real Men drink ale in the tavern and start bar fights.
Real Roleplayers drink wine in the tavern and talk to everyone.
Loonies order bubblegum and watermelon daquiris and start food fights.
Munchkins say "What's a town? Is that some place where I'm suppose to roleplay?"

Note to munchkins : "In a sword fight between two munchkins...you can't both have Excaliber"

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