Lots of things have been annoying me recently that are all too small to deserve a full page. They think that this level of annoyance will allow them to evade TIGU. They are mistaken.

• Steps - Better Best Forgotten - Perhaps the most self-referentially titled song ever.
• People who slag off Gwenyth Paltrow - Look, she's talented and you never used to slate her or her films. I'd rather someone won an award and gushed, than went up and played it cool like Robbie Williams or Fatboy Slim - that just shows contempt and an attempt at aloofness.
• Zoe Ball - Comes very close to getting her own page. She's annoying, ugly, has a whiney voice, has no idea of comedy timing, fails to realise what makes a good radio show, and mentions her recent engagement roughly once every ten minutes.
• Fake Goths - You don't really worship Satan, do you? You just say that, to appear cool. Do you kill people for no reason, and inflict pain upon strangers at random? No? Then you're just pretending.
• People who fancy Billie - She has the chin and shoulders of a man, for Christ's sake. Not to mention the fact that it still strictly counts as paedophilia.
• Titanic - No, it's not a classic, and never will be. Making money out of a human tradgedy of this scale is similar to filming the Hilsborough disaster, and putting some stupidly unoriginal love story in the middle. Why can't you people see that?
• The BBC - For shifting Lee & Herring all over the place, and failing to allow it to gather a viewing base, just so that you have a cheap excuse for not allowing another series.
• Whitney Housten - Why do you insist on making dumb noises on bits of your song that should be quiet? "Friday night you and your friends went out to eat; Uuuuhhuuu." Just ... why?
• Games companies - £50 for a N64 game? Surely you've noticed that they're all terrible? (And I'm willing to argue the point with anyone over Zelda, Goldeneye, or any Mario game.)
• Pre-paid electricity - Why's it so difficult to make it let you know when your electricity's about to be cut off? A loud periodic beeping for an hour before it ran out would give you time to get more money into the damn thing, rather than having to set the time again on your TV, video, etc.
• Cher - Does the phrase "Mutton dressed as lamb" ring a bell? What about "Baggy old tart"?
• People who think I know nothing about what I write - What? Do you think that I don't research my topics? Obviously, since you insist on sending me e-mail about how I'm wrong all the time.
• People who bought Flat Beat - Okay, so the adverts were funny, but the song's terrible. Most people I know agree with this, so why do people buy it? They buy it because they like the puppet. What? They buy a CD because they like the puppet that they can't see when they play it. Think about it, it makes no sense.
• Steps - Again. Just what exactly do the blokes in Steps do?

Well, that's that lot off my chest for now. Don't worry, there'll be more. Unfortunately.

		Maintained by Tony Gowland Last updated: 5/4/9