Have you ever noticed that, at Christmas in particular, a great number of "chart hits" albums are released, in a desperate effort to liberate more money from your vice-like grip?

They are undoubtedly marketed with lines including the phrases "number ones", "bangin'", "value", "double CD", and "also available on cassette". They contain about ten songs that got to number one in the charts, about twenty that got in the top fourty, and around ten that not even the PR department at the record label that released them have heard of.

Bright "youngster friendly" packaging is a must, as is using "street" language in the adverts, and throwing around "hip" sounding phrases, to imply to the punters that you're "on their wavelength, man".

Finally the company that releases them is never a proper record house, and always sounds more like an inner-city organisation, and must typically end its name in something like "plc".

See, here's another one of them, now. You really can't get away, you know.

24 / 12 / 99 - I couldn't help but notice that there's also been an interest in "albums of the millennium" compilations. These are worse than their everyday counterparts, since by and large they merely contain obvious classics from the last ten years, and then flesh it out with the current top 40 (which, if you hadn't noticed, is diabolical). Anybody buying such an item should, in my opinion, be immediately lined up against a wall and shot in the heart. Andbody buying such an abum as a present should be shot in the legs first, then in the heart an hour or so ater. Just to make them suffer.

		Maintained by Tony Gowland Last updated: 24/12/99