Ah, I can see it now - the huge amount of e-mail that I'm about to receive for taking shots at this programme (possibly even as many as I get about the Star Trek bit, what is it with you sci-fi fans defending your shows, eh?) but let's face it, it deserves it.

Okay, maybe that's a bit broad, because in the first two seasons it was relatively good fun. Mulder running about making up wild theories about everything relating to UFOs (all of which happen, by amazine coincidence, to be true), and Scully running about telling him that he's wrong and that everything can be scientifically explained.

But hasn't it all run a bit thin now? Obviously the creators and script writers think so, because they've started that timeless classic of Star Trek TNG - reusing old plots. Can't think of something new? Why not use that bendy-stretchy guy again, or Mulder's sister (or is it? Etc.) and her alien friends. Or a bit of FBI cover-up. There are only so many orignal ideas, and X-Files used up all of its a long time ago.

Fig. 1 - The Evil Potato. For possible inclusion into a future episode of The X-Files. It might have Mulder's Sister (or is it? Etc.) in it as well.

And what's with Scully and the fact that she still refuses to believe Mulder all of the time, even given that she herself is supposed to have been abducted by aliens. Talk about hard to convince. And while we're on this subject let's talk about Gillian Anderson for a bit. Okay, here's the truth; she's not - no, shut up - she isn't - listen, will you stop arguing - she's not that - JUST BE QUIET. Thank you. - She's not that good looking. There, I've said it. If she was in a programme about dry cleaning no-one would give her a second look, but because of the X-Files, and the fact that she's cast as a clever woman (note: CAST AS), she's become "The Thinking Man's Bird". You're wrong - Carol Vorderman is a clever woman, Gillian Anderson is an actress who plays one. Different things, see? I know your type, you're the ones who say things like "Yeah, I know Lara Croft's only a computer game character but still, eh?" Until people hit you. Very hard.

Fig. 2 - "Oh wow man, just look at the polygons on that!"

		Maintained by Tony Gowland Last updated: 16/6/98