> Three worst Chinese torture tests
>
> A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he's hopelessly lost.
> It's
> been nearly three weeks since he's eaten anything besides what he
> could
> forage and he's been reduced to sleeping in caves and under trees.
>
> One afternoon he comes upon an old mansion in the woods. It has
> vines
> covering most of it and the man can't see any other buildings in the
> area. However, he sees smoke coming out of the chimney implying
> someone
> is home.
>
> He knocks on the door and an old man answers, with a beard almost
> down
> to the ground. The old man squints his eyes and says "What do you
> want?"
>
> The man says "I've been lost for the past three weeks and haven't
> had
> a decent meal or sleep since that time. I would be most gracious if I
> could
> have a meal and sleep in your house for tonight."
>
> The old Chinese man says "I'll let you come in on one condition:
> You
> cannot mess around with my granddaughter."
>
> The man, exhausted and hungry readily agrees, saying "I promise I
> won't cause you any trouble. I'll be on my way tommorrow morning."
>
> The old Chinese man counters "Ok, but if I do catch you then I'll
> give
> you the three worst chinese torture tests ever known to man."
>
> "Ok, Ok" the man said as he entered the old house. Besides, he
> thought
> to himself, what kind of woman would live out in the wilderness all
> her life?
>
> Well, that night, when the man came down to eat (after showering),
> he
> saw how beautiful the grandaughter was. She was an absolute pearl, and
>
> while he had only been lost three weeks, it had been many,many months
> without companionship. And the girl had only seen the occasional monk
> besides her grandfather and well, they both couldn't keep their eyes
> off
> each other throughout the meal.
>
> That night, the man snuck into the girls' bedroom and they had
> quite a
> time, but had kept the noise down to a minimum. The man crept back to
> his
> room later that night thinking to himself, "Any three torture tests
> would
> be worth it after that experience."
>
> Well, the next morning the man awoke to a heavy weight on his
> chest.
> He opened his eyes and there was this huge rock on his chest. On the
> rock
> was a sign saying "1st Chinese torture test: 100 lb rock on your
> chest".
>
> "What a lame torture test" the man thought to himself as he got up
> and
> walked over to the window. He opened the shutter and threw the rock
> out.
> On the backside of the rock is another sign saying "2nd worst Chinese
> torture test: Rock tied to right testicle".
>
> The man, seeing the rock was too far out the window to
> be grabbed, jumps out the window after the rock. Outside the window is
> a
> third sign saying "3rd worst Chinese torture test: Left testicle tied
> to
> bedpost".
--
Daffy Catalan
http://www.skyinet.net/users/voodoo
(
geocities.com/southbeach/marina) (
geocities.com/southbeach)