Men & Women
finally understood!
Womens English | |||
1 | No | = | Yes. |
2 | Maybe | = | No. |
3 | I'm Sorry | = | You'll be sorry. |
4 | We need | = | I want. |
5 | Its your decision | = | The correct decision should be obvious by now. |
6 | Do what you want | = | You'll pay for this later. |
7 | We need to talk | = | I need to complain. |
8 | Sure . . . go ahead | = | I don't want you to. |
9 | I'm not upset | = | Ofcourse I'm upset, you moron! |
10 | You're . . . so manly | = | You need a shave and you sweat a lot. |
11 | You're certainly attentive tonight | = | Is sex all you ever think about? |
12 | Be romantic, turn out the lights | = | I have flabby thighs. |
13 | This kitchen is so inconvenient | = | I want a new house. I want new curtains and carpeting, and furniture. |
14 | Hang the picture there | = | NO, I mean hang it there! |
15 | I heard a noise | = | I noticed you were almost asleep. |
16 | Do you love me? | = | I'm going to ask for something expensive. |
17 | How much do you love me? | = | I did something today you're really not going to like. |
18 | I'll be ready in a minute | = | Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV. |
19 | Is my butt fat? | = | Tell me I'm beautiful. |
20 | You have to learn to communicate | = | Just agree with me. |
21 | Are you listening to me?! | = | Too late, you're dead! |
22 | Was that the baby? | = | Why dont you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep. |
23 | I'm not yelling! | = | I'm yelling because I think this is important! |
Mens English | |||
1 | I'm hungry | = | I'm hungry |
2 | I'm sleepy | = | I'm sleepy. |
3 | I'm tired | = | I'm tired. |
4 | Do you want to go to a movie with me? | = | I'd eventually like to have sex with you. |
5 | Can I take you out to dinner? | = | I'd eventually like to have sex with you. |
6 | Can I call you sometime? | = | I'd eventually like to have sex with you. |
7 | May I have this dance? | = | I'd eventually like to have sex with you. |
8 | Nice dress! | = | Nice cleavage! |
9 | I dont think that blouse and that skirt go well together | = | I am gay. |
10 | You look tense, let me give you a massage | = | I want to fondle you. |
11 | Whats wrong? | = | I dont see why you are making such a big deal out of this. |
12 | Whats wrong? | = | What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now? |
13 | Whats wrong? | = | I guess sex tonight is out of the question. |
14 | I'm bored |
= | Do you want to have sex? |
15 | I love you | = | Lets have sex now. |
16 | I love you, too | = | Okay, I said it. . .we'd better have sex now! |
17 | Yes, I like the way you cut your hair | = | I liked it better before. |
18 | Yes, I like the way you cut your hair | = | $50 and it doesn't look that much different! |
19 | Let's talk | = | I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me. |
20 | Will you marry me? | = | I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys. |
21 | (while shopping) I like that one better | = | Pick any freaking' dress and let's go home! |