February 25, 1996

February 25, 1996

Did I ever mention that my father is a seal hunter? Well, he is. He hunts seal. It isn't his livelihood, but he does it every now and again when he feels a deep grinding hunger from within his soul. The problem is that there are no seals in Edmonton. In fact, there are no seals anywhere near Edmonton since we are about 1000 miles from the nearest ocean. The seal hunt is a really important thing to my father and a great source of his inner pride. ...which is a shame considering that he never catches any seal. It is hard to be around when he decides to go on the Great Seal Hunt every year. It is especially hard since he always makes me go with him.

So today, of course, would be the day that dad decided we needed to go a`hunting seals. You would think that he would at least show a little dignity and go on this fool's errand alone, but no... he always likes to take me with him. He says I am his good luck charm. I don't think that is much of a compliment considering that the total number of seals he has caught to date is zero despite the fact that I am constantly dragged along on the seal hunt. Anyhow, he says I might learn something and he is right in that respect. I have learned NEVER to try to hunt seals in Alberta. But then, I am not sure that that is a particularly useful lesson. It is sort of like learning that you shouldn't poke a sharp knife in your ear while you are eating a plate of spagetti.

Today, however, my father was very excited because he did the impossible: he caught his very first seal ever. Or so he thought. And that is how I found out that Dad doesn't know what a seal looks like. It came as quite a shock to me actually. As we were sitting eating the dinner that my father had so proudly cooked over an open fire, I really felt sorry for the rabbit. After all, it wasn't the rabbit's fault that dad couldn't tell a seal from a rabbit. What did the rabbit ever do? I thought it was a bit sad. And it could have used a bit more salt too.


(Remember, this page is copyright 1996 so show your friends but don't charge them and don't say you did it or I'm sending the Mounties...)

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