A Girl Can't Make Up Her Mind


Dear Lissa & Mayv,
I've been talking to this girl for four weeks now. She keeps telling me that she likes me a lot but does not want to have anything serious because she needs healing time from her last relationship, which was pretty abusive. When she told me this I was okay with it. But lately she's been acting as if she was my girlfriend:
she wants to be with me all the time, she gets jealous if I talk to other females, etc....
I don't mind this behavior from her, because in a way it shows she likes me a lot. But when I hint to her that I want our relaitonship to be more serious, she quickly gets angry and tells me she doesn't want a serious relationship, and she even said she wants to see other people at the same time. That makes me feel hurt and frustrated. I wish she'd make up her mind and stop leading me on. What should I do?
Sincerely,
confused & frustrated


Dear confused & frustrated,
I think your girlfriend was who they had in mind when they coined the phrase, "having your cake and eating it too". She's managing to have a committed relationship without actually committing herself.
You say you don't really mind because it shows how much she likes you, but we can't believe some resentment won't eventually surface when you're sitting at home watching "Touched By An Angel" or old reruns of "The Saint" (both of which you may qualify for) at night while she's seeing Batchelor #1 or Batchelor #2.
The fact that she isn't ready to get serious after a previous abusive relationship shows quite a bit of maturity. (2 points for her!) But on the other hand, being possessive of you doesn't. (Take those points away)
We think you have to make it clear:
either you have an exclusive, committed relationship on both sides or you stay friends awhile longer until she heals and feels safe enough to committ.
Something tells us you'll still be around and you sound like a "keeper" to us!
Good Luck!
Lissa & Mayv

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