Does She Exist??
I feel compelled to state at the outset, that this ad is NOT in keeping with my default style, nor, is it an accurate representation of my priorities, but, as a "from the heart" approach has largely yielded responses from women 10 years my senior, twice my girth, married, balding and Oh YES!!! .. that Guy in a Dress, I'm thinking that perhaps I should focus on "what I'm looking for" in these ads, rather than "what it is that I can bring to a relationship and offer". "I Want" mode is largely alien to me .. but, let's take a swing at it. The results might be interesting for both of us .. You ready??? .. Everyone please raise your left hand .. hold it there until you hit a disqualifying criteria, at which point, please put it down .. Here Goes.
I WANT (still sounds odd coming from me) a WOMAN (born that way) between the ages of 24 and 40, inclusive (As are all following criteria unless otherwise noted) . Ranging in height from 5'4" to 5'11". Dress size between 4 and 12. Single, divorced and/or not involved in a relationship wherein the other party believes there to be an exclusivity to the relationship. Children fine but not required, the same applies to dogs or most pets with the exception of cats (ick). You should be healthy (no STD's, or other conditions physical or emotional that require regular monitoring or stabilizing meds). You should be reasonably well educated (some college at least) and be able to hold up your end of a conversation on a variety of topics. You should be a non smoker, a moderate drinker (quality not quantity) You should be reasonably attractive, fit and almost as fond of outdoor activities as indoor. You should have an aversion to Rap & Country Music. You should take pride in yourself, your accomplishments, your family, friends, lovers and possessions and care for each as is appropriate. You should be a warm, kind romantic soul with a practical backbone, knowing when to let your head rule your heart and when not to. You should be willing to give anyone the benefit of the doubt ONCE, but never allow yourself to be ANYONE's doormat. You should be ready for a long term relationship, leaning toward wanting one .. but not "needing" one. You should enjoy all of life's physical pleasures that do not involve pain or extensive post activity clean-up, but not have yet explored every option & variation in the book that interests you or have littered the landscape with the bodies of a legion of your past conquests. You should have a "real" email address and a photo of yourself available to send via email or file transfer. Oh .. one last but crucial detail .. You should be the type of person that would prefer to walk barefoot over broken glass than to tell a lie .. and, be totally unforgiving in the event of having been lied to.
Ok . Those of you with a hand still in the air .. Please contact me .. we may have a future...
This "wish list" will be periodically modified as additional issues come to me, and be reposted until such time as a "magical" respondent materializes who can exchange 3 particular words with me without flinching or freezing, and or sufficient "hate mail" results that my InBox clogs.