• Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
• If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
• Why are there interstates in Hawaii?
• Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
• Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
• Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?
• How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?
• If a cow laughs, does milk come out its nose?
• If you throw a cat out of a car window, does it become kitty litter?
• If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?
• Why do we drive on parkways, and park on driveways?
• Why is brassiere singular, and panties plural?
• Why is it that when you transport something by car it's called "shipment", but when you transport something by ship it's called "cargo"?
• Why can't the whole airplane be made out of the same indestructible substance used to make the black box?
• Why is it, when you are driving and looking for an address, you turn down the radio?
• Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
• If con is the opposite of pro, is congress the opposite of progress?
• If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
• If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
• If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
• Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
• Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
• If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
• Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
• Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
• If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
• Why are hemeroids called hemeroids instead of asteroids?
• How do tell if you run out of invisible ink?
• If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
• Before they made drawing boards, what did they go back to?
• If one syncronized swimmer drowns, do the others have to drown too?
• Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?
• If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
• Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays?
  
  
  
  
  
  More Things To Ponder...
  
• Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
• Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
• Friends help you out. REAL friends help you move bodies.
• Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"
• What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
• Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
• One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
• To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.
• Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
• The older you get, the better you realize you were.
• Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
• Women like silent men, they think they're listening.
• Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
• Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
  
  Too Deep in Here--Take Me Home!